Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central

Guy: Hi!
Sheila: Hi. Uh, do I know you?
Guy: Oh no, but I never miss a bris! I brought some dip.
Sheila: Oh great.

Stan: (imitating Mr. Mackey) We're sorry, Mr. Mackey, mmkay?
Mr. Mackey: Uh, that's okay, just don't let it happen again.
Kyle: We won't let it happen again, Mr. Mackey, mmkay?
Mr. Mackey: Mmkay, that's that.
Cartman: Mmkay?
Mr. Mackey: Mmkay.


Mr. Mackey: Uh, Marijuana's bad.
Street Guy: What?
Mr. Mackey: Marijuana makes you feel depressed and low.
Street Guy: And you don't feel that way now?
Mr. Mackey: Hmm, good point.

Dude, that is not cool! Chopping off wee-wees is not cool!


The fireman is very magical. Rub his helmet and he spits in your eye.


Sheila: Gerald, do something about your smartass son!
Gerald: Uhh...mind your... mother, smartass.

(Mackey's landlord) I've never taken drugs before and look at me...I'm fine. Now get off my property before I lose control and kill you!

Mr. Freely

Stan: Why do dogs have cold noses?
Mr. Mackey: Uuuhh.. well I'm not sure.

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