South Park

South Park "It Hits the Fan" Quotes

Timmy: S-s-s-s-s**t!
Ms. Choksondik: Very good, Timmy.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ms. Choksondik: Alright, children, in lieu of the common usage, I'm supposed to clarify the school's position on the word, "s**t."
Stan: Wow! We can say "s**t" in school now?
Kyle: This is ridiculous! Just because they say it on TV it's alright.
 • Rating: Unrated

Randy: That word's kind of getting old. It's not really funny anymore.
Man: Yeah, they're gonna have to come up with a new swear word now.
Mr. Garrison: Well, they can't use "fag." Because you can't say "fag" unless you're a homosexual.
Randy: Really? So we can't say (bleep)?
Mr. Garrison: No. See, you got beeped.
Man: You mean you have to be a (bleep) to say (bleep)?
Mr. Garrison: That's right.
Jimbo: Hell, that's not fair! I should be able to say "fag."
Randy: Hey, you didn't get beeped.
Jimbo: Uh, oh.
Mr. Garrison: Well well well! Guess we learned something new about you, Jimbo, you freakin' fag! You wanna make out or something?
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: I'd scarf down a whole wet bucket full of s**t before I ate another plate of meecrob.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: Detective Sandy Vagina here thinks that "s**t" might have something to do with everyone getting sick.
 • Rating: Unrated

Chef: I'm very proud of you, children. Let's all go home and find a nice white woman to make love to.
Stan: Yeah, and Kenny didn't die!
Kenny: (muffled) Yeah, and I didn't die- (pukes out his intestines and dies)
Stan: Holy sh- I mean, poop.
Kyle: Yeah. Poop.
Cartman: I love you guys...
 • Rating: Unrated

Old Woman: Why that store has such lovely s**t.
Old Man: Yeah. Too bad I don't have s**t for cash right now.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: You guys, look here. In this Nancy Drew mystery, Nancy goes to the beach and gets sand trapped in her shoe. This could explain how Kyle got it in his vagina!
Kyle: Cartman, this is serious!
Cartman: So am I, Kyle. If that sand in your vagina doesn't get released, you could become a walking time bomb.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr. Garrison: And so children, instead of saying "Hand in your papers." I may now say "Hand in your s**t." Any questions?
Filmore: What about "I have to take a s**t"?
Mr. Garrison: No, no Filmore, you can say "I have to poop and s**t," or "Oh, s**t, I have to poop," but not "I have to s**t." Are we all clear?
 • Rating: Unrated

Ms. Choksondik: The adjective form is now also acceptable. For example, "The weather outside is s**tty." However, the literal adjective is not appropriate. For example, "My bad diarrhea made the inside of the toilet bowl s**tty, and I had to clean it with a rag, which then also became s**tty." That's right out!
 • Rating: Unrated

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