South Park

South Park "Summer Sucks" Quotes

Chef: (Phone rings, he answers) Hello? What? Oh, hello, children! It's a what? A giant snake?! Killing everybody?! Growing bigger?! Children, you know I rarely say this, but, well... fudge ya. (hangs up)
Kyle: What did he say?
Stan: Dude, I think he told us to go f(beep)k ourselves.
Cartman: Wow!
Kyle: How's that gonna help?
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr. Garrison: Serves you right, you gay-bashing homo!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

(giant ash-snake breaks through the wall)
Jimbo: Holy smokes, what the hell is that?
Ned: It looks like my ex-wife.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Chef sees everyone covered in ash, so the all look like black people.)
Chef: Okay. Everybody get in a line so I can whoop all your asses!
 • Rating: Unrated

Stan: Oh, yeah, dude! It's summer! That means we gotta buy fireworks.
Kyle: I saved enough money to buy M-80s this year.
Stan: I saw this one movie where a guy stuck a firecracker up a cat's butt.
Kyle: Cool! Maybe we can do that to Cartman's cat!
Cartman: Hey! If you so much as touch Kitty's ass, I'll put firecrackers in your nutsack and blow your balls all over your pants!
Stan: Jesus, Cartman!
Cartman: Well, I'm just saying, man. Seriously, don't mess with Kitty, man.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ned: Are fireworks legal in Mexico?
Jimbo: Hell, everything's legal in Mexico. It's the American way.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mr. Garrison: Well I can tell you that I'm 100% NOT GAY!!
 • Rating: Unrated

Director: Lets play the Stars and Stripes. 1-2-3
(the kids play horribly)
Mayor: What the hell is that!?
Assistant: I think it's the stars and stripes.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr. Garrison: (answering phone) Hello?
Mr. Mackey: Hello, is Mr. Hat there?
Mr. Garrison: Is this some kind of joke?!
Mr. Mackey: (chuckles) Yes.
Mr. Garrison: You go to hell! You go to hell and you die! I'm gonna find out who you are!
Mr. Mackey: No, I don't think you can... M'kay?
Mr. Garrison: (hanging up) Goddammit!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Baby Stan: Oo das kill Kenny!
Baby Kyle: Oo bastards!
 • Rating: Unrated

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