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South-park

Kyle: This is taking too long. The flight to Connecticut is gonna leave. Hey can we speed things up here?!
Airport Inspector: Err sorry but ever since that IT thing came out Airline had to cut back on employees.
Kyle: Dude we're the only ones here. How long does it take 5 people to get through security?
Airport Inspector: Derr let's see, 4 people plus times divided Two hours domestic three hours international.
Kyle's Cousin Kyle: Can't we just play hide and seek at home?
Kyle: No!
Airport Inspector (finds something in Kenny's pockets): Aha! What's this a toenail clipper! Die terrorist!!
(shoots Kenny in the head)

Kyle: How far do you think it is to Connecticut?
Stan: At least a couple hours.
Kyle: Do you think he'll be okay?
Cartman (walking off): He's fine!

Kyle's Cousin Kyle: You, you paid your friends to not make fun of me?
Kyle: Look, it's not because anything's wrong with you.
Kyle's Cousin Kyle: Wow, uh, you think it takes $40 to get people to like me.
Kyle: Kyle, I-I'm sorry
Kyle's Cousin Kyle: Becuase I mean I really think you could have done it for about 12.50.
Kyle: What?
Kyle's Cousin Kyle: Well, I mean, you didn't just start at 40, did you? You you gotta low-ball these things so you have a place to go.
Kyle: [amazed] Oh, dude.

Clerk: We'll get you on the 7 A.M. flight tomorrow morning.
Mr. Garrison: I can't go tomorrow, the Jizzfest is tonight!

Agent: The airlines are in desperate trouble. Your vehicle is causing them to lose money.
Mr. Garrison: Yeah, well that was the point, dingleberry!

Ms. Choksondik: [to Kyle's cousin, Kyle] Now Kyle, I need you to be quiet. In my class you need to be able to concentrate. Concentration is the key to succeeding in my class.
Cartman: Maybe we'll have to send him to concentration camp. [remembers Kyle's deal] Aww. Damnit, damnit, damnit!

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