South Park

Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central
South park
TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
40,000 other titles are available to watch now.

Kyle: But you know, I've learned something today. You see, the basis of all reasoning is the mind's awareness of itself. What we think, the external objects we perceive, are all like actors that come on and off stage. But our consciousness, the stage itself, is always present to us.
Cartman: Tits.

I'm going to find out who the boss is, and when I do, I'm going to bust his ass and everyone's ass who helped hide his ass!

Mr. Foley

They're what!? They're not going to pay me? Who the hell do they think they are? I want those South Park kids dead! I want their families dead! I want their houses burnt to the ground!

Loogie

Chef: Well whatever you're doing, just remember this: Having money may seem fun butOh never mind.

Oh my God! There's got to be at least 15 dollars here!

</i> Chef

Anyway, the half-chicken, half-squirrel would most likely be about 3 to 4.5 feet tall. His large beak is probably detachable and works as a flotation device.

Dentist

Mr. Foley: It's not ridiculous, it's very possible! I've seen it happen before!
Dentist: Where?
Mr. Foley: In Montreal.
(All of the dentists burst into laughter)
Dentist: And where, pray, is this Montreal?

Dentist at ADA: We believe that there can be only one logical reason for all of this.
(Slide changes to show the reason)
Dentist at ADA: A giant half-chicken, half-squirrel that steals either teeth or money from children as they sleep in order to build some kind of giant nest for its genetically superior and potentially dangerous offspring. We believe also that this creature would have at least a mild understanding of algebra and that it
(interrupted by other dentist)

Loogie: Tell you what, how would you like to run the South Park tooth racket for me?
Stan: Oh. I dunno
(Loogie holds up a knife)
Loogie: It's that, or else I can cut off your penises.
Cartman: Hmm. Work for youHave my penis cut off. Work for youHave my penis cut off. Let's see
Kyle: Cartman!

Man, that is tits!

Cartman
Displaying quotes 13 - 22 of 22 in total

South Park Season 4 Episode 1 Quotes

Kyle: But you know, I've learned something today. You see, the basis of all reasoning is the mind's awareness of itself. What we think, the external objects we perceive, are all like actors that come on and off stage. But our consciousness, the stage itself, is always present to us.
Cartman: Tits.

Cartman: You guys, you guys! Oh my god, seriously, you guys!
Stan: What the hell's wrong with Cartman?
Kyle: He's fat and stupid.