Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central

Cartman: My mom lied to me just like your parents lied to you and now we're poor like Kenny's family.
(Kenny walks over to comfort Cartman.)
Cartman: Don't touch me Kenny.

Kyle: What about Dan Rather? Do you think he's real?
Cartman: No, man, that's just a TV show.

Yea! This is so tits!


How do you know what the tooth fairy wants me to do? You're not the tooth fairy!


(Sick kid talking to parents while Cartman lurks outside his window.)
Sick Kid: Oh mommy, I can't wait to be better!
Cartman: Well kid, you're gonna have to wait just a little longer because that $600 is mine.

Chef: Well look at you cute little crackers with your money and your fancy clothes and your cell phones. It's almost like you wereOh my God! Children, what have I told you about drugs?
Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny: There's a time and a place for everything and it's called college.

Kids have been doing the tooth fairy rack in this town for years. I do it just like my big brother before me, and my oldest brother before that.


(telling Butters as the tooth fairy) Do not open your eyes until morning, or I will kick you in the nuuuuutssquare in the nuuuts.


It's better than your dress. You look like a bad Jennifer Lopez nightmare!

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