South Park

Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central
South park
TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
40,000 other titles are available to watch now.

(enthusiastically) An animated Christmas card! Kids, that just might be the dumbest idea I've ever heard, ever!

Mayor

I'm just a stupid piece of crap.

Mr. Hanky

But Dad, we're just pieces of crap, Christmas isn't for us.

Cornwallis

Don't you see guys Christmas is about presents.

</i> Stan

(as Barbie) Butters, would you like to slap my titties around?

Butters

(while making the Christmas Card)
Kyle: Ok. 'woo' mouths again...
Stan: (clicks camera) one. two.
Kyle: So how much done is that?
Stan: "We wish you a m-merry..."
Kyle: Jesus Christ.

Cornwallis: We fixed it!
Mrs. Hankey: What's that kids?! They got your father's penis working again!

Mr. Hankey: Come. You have to meet the little nuggets, too. Kids! This is our son, Cornwallis.
Cornwallis: Howdy Ho!
Mr. Hankey: Our daughter Amber.
Amber: Howdy Ho!
b>Mr. Hankey: And our son, Simon.
Simon: Eee, hey! Hnhn.
Mr. Hankey: Simon's not so smart. He was born with a peanut in his head.

Mrs. Hankey: (to Mayor's aide) You wanna bet me I won't take off my clothes and run naked through this parking lot?
Mr. Hankey: Honey, please don't start.
Mrs. Hankey: I didn't start it! He was lookin' at my breasts!
Mr. Hankey: They're not real, ya know!
Mrs. Hankey: Don't you say that!
Mr. Hankey: Oh, big secret, everyone can tell they're made of silicorn!

Mr. Hankey: Kids, Christmas is back on! We gotta all go get that old drive-in working again!
Hankey Kids: Okay!
Mrs. Hankey: That's not the only thing we gotta get working again, if you know what I mean. [Points at Mr. Hankey's "crotch"]
Mr. Hankey: Why, why, why do you have to say things like that in front of people?

Why does everyone in cartoons have such big heads?

Stan

Kyle: He's gonna be here any minute, Ike.
Ike: Oooh nooo, poopies.
Kyle: He might not come if you're too close to the toilet bowl, Ike.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 285 in total

South Park Season 4 Quotes

It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a woman's separation, this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.

</i> Cartman

Cartman: Suck my balls.
Ms. Choksondik: Present them.
Cartman: What?
Ms. Choksondik: Present: Whip them out and I'll suck 'em.