South Park

South Park Season 4 Quotes

Episode 17: "A Very Crappy Christmas"

Cornwallis: But Dad, we're just pieces of crap, Christmas isn't for us.
 • Rating: Unrated

(in "The Spirit of Christmas")
Stan: Don't you see guys Christmas is about presents.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mayor: (enthusiastically) An animated Christmas card! Kids, that just might be the dumbest idea I've ever heard, ever!
 • Rating: Unrated

Butters: (as Barbie) Butters, would you like to slap my titties around?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mr. Hanky: I'm just a stupid piece of crap.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

(while making the Christmas Card)
Kyle: Ok. 'woo' mouths again...
Stan: (clicks camera) one. two.
Kyle: So how much done is that?
Stan: "We wish you a m-merry..."
Kyle: Jesus Christ.
 • Rating: Unrated

The Cycle Of Poo

Mr. Hanky: Everything that lives on Earth, poos in some way, and that's how the cycle happens each and everyday. Just look at the green, green grass and the birds up in the sky, it's all here because of poo and now I'll tell you why! Grass is eaten by the cattle, which is eaten by women and men, and fuses with their body, and becomes poo again. And that poo goes through the sewer, where it's dumped into the sea, and it's eaten by the plankton, it becomes the fishes' meal. And when that bigger fish with the poo still inside, swims up onto the shore and gets eaten alive. A grizzly bear that poos on a dead piece of sand, so it can spring to life and become poo for the land!!!! It's the poo of the antelope, the poo of the giraffe, it crawls into the earth, and becomes the blades of grass, the grass is eaten by the cattle, which comes out the other end, to make food for humans, and start all over again!
Cornwallis: (in Brian McKnight mixed with Temptations type voice) I'm the poo of the antelope! That flows onto the ground!
Mr. Hankey: Becomes the grass of tomorrow, which the grazers turnaround!
Cornwallis: So I'm the leg of a leopard, and the wings of the hen!
Mr.Hankey and Cornwallis: Which becomes dinner for the humans, and turns back to poo again!!! That's the cycle, the cycle of poo!!
 • Rating: Unrated

Cornwallis: We fixed it!
Mrs. Hankey: What's that kids?! They got your father's penis working again!
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr. Hankey: Kids, Christmas is back on! We gotta all go get that old drive-in working again!
Hankey Kids: Okay!
Mrs. Hankey: That's not the only thing we gotta get working again, if you know what I mean. [Points at Mr. Hankey's "crotch"]
Mr. Hankey: Why, why, why do you have to say things like that in front of people?
 • Rating: Unrated

Mrs. Hankey: (to Mayor's aide) You wanna bet me I won't take off my clothes and run naked through this parking lot?
Mr. Hankey: Honey, please don't start.
Mrs. Hankey: I didn't start it! He was lookin' at my breasts!
Mr. Hankey: They're not real, ya know!
Mrs. Hankey: Don't you say that!
Mr. Hankey: Oh, big secret, everyone can tell they're made of silicorn!
 • Rating: Unrated

Kyle: He's gonna be here any minute, Ike.
Ike: Oooh nooo, poopies.
Kyle: He might not come if you're too close to the toilet bowl, Ike.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr. Hankey: Come. You have to meet the little nuggets, too. Kids! This is our son, Cornwallis.
Cornwallis: Howdy Ho!
Mr. Hankey: Our daughter Amber.
Amber: Howdy Ho!
b>Mr. Hankey: And our son, Simon.
Simon: Eee, hey! Hnhn.
Mr. Hankey: Simon's not so smart. He was born with a peanut in his head.
 • Rating: Unrated

Stan: Why does everyone in cartoons have such big heads?
 • Rating: Unrated

Episode 16: "The Wacky Molestation Adventure"

Jenny: Now we wanna play with yoou.
Mark: Ok, now I'm scared too. That freaked me out.
 • Rating: Unrated

Stan: Dude! You're not gonna believe what Cartman got!
Kyle: Hepatitis B?
Cartman: No d**khole! 4 tickets, 28th row for the "Raging Pussies."
 • Rating: Unrated

Kyle: My parents said I can't go.
Stan: Well of course your parents said you can't go.
Cartman: Dummy, you don't ask if you can go! I'm telling my parents that I'm staying at Stan's house, Stan's telling his parents he's staying at Kenny's house, and Kenny's not telling his parents anything cause they're alcoholics and they don't care!
Kenny: (muffled) Yeah!
Kyle: Oh, well now I already told them.
Cartman: Well I guess you're screwed then.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kyle: (singing) If I had one wish it'd for Cuba to change,
cause I think that all the Cubans are in pain.
All the joy in the world, from sea to shining sea,
doesn't mean a thing, if Cubans aren't free.
I just can't be very happy, that's certain,
not as long as you Cubans are hurtin',
Oh won't you search your soul and find a way to change your mind.
That is my one and only wish...
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kyle: What's "bad touch?"
Cartman: Something bout a swimsuit, I don't remember, but you definitely answer bad touch!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Police Lady: They'll never be able to hurt you again.
Kyle: Cool thanks.
 • Rating: Unrated

Linda: Hey, looks like you're not so bad with kids after all.
Mark: Yeah I guess you're right. Maybe we should have some.
Linda: Yeah right, after all this. I'm getting my tubes tied tomorrow.
 • Rating: Unrated

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