But Dad, we're just pieces of crap, Christmas isn't for us.


(as Barbie) Butters, would you like to slap my titties around?


Don't you see guys Christmas is about presents.

</i> Stan

(enthusiastically) An animated Christmas card! Kids, that just might be the dumbest idea I've ever heard, ever!


I'm just a stupid piece of crap.

Mr. Hanky

Kyle: He's gonna be here any minute, Ike.
Ike: Oooh nooo, poopies.
Kyle: He might not come if you're too close to the toilet bowl, Ike.

Cornwallis: We fixed it!
Mrs. Hankey: What's that kids?! They got your father's penis working again!

Why does everyone in cartoons have such big heads?


The Cycle Of Poo
Mr. Hanky: Everything that lives on Earth, poos in some way, and that's how the cycle happens each and everyday. Just look at the green, green grass and the birds up in the sky, it's all here because of poo and now I'll tell you why! Grass is eaten by the cattle, which is eaten by women and men, and fuses with their body, and becomes poo again. And that poo goes through the sewer, where it's dumped into the sea, and it's eaten by the plankton, it becomes the fishes' meal. And when that bigger fish with the poo still inside, swims up onto the shore and gets eaten alive. A grizzly bear that poos on a dead piece of sand, so it can spring to life and become poo for the land!!!! It's the poo of the antelope, the poo of the giraffe, it crawls into the earth, and becomes the blades of grass, the grass is eaten by the cattle, which comes out the other end, to make food for humans, and start all over again!
Cornwallis: (in Brian McKnight mixed with Temptations type voice) I'm the poo of the antelope! That flows onto the ground!
Mr. Hankey: Becomes the grass of tomorrow, which the grazers turnaround!
Cornwallis: So I'm the leg of a leopard, and the wings of the hen!
Mr.Hankey and Cornwallis: Which becomes dinner for the humans, and turns back to poo again!!! That's the cycle, the cycle of poo!!

(while making the Christmas Card)
Kyle: Ok. 'woo' mouths again...
Stan: (clicks camera) one. two.
Kyle: So how much done is that?
Stan: "We wish you a m-merry..."
Kyle: Jesus Christ.

Mrs. Hankey: (to Mayor's aide) You wanna bet me I won't take off my clothes and run naked through this parking lot?
Mr. Hankey: Honey, please don't start.
Mrs. Hankey: I didn't start it! He was lookin' at my breasts!
Mr. Hankey: They're not real, ya know!
Mrs. Hankey: Don't you say that!
Mr. Hankey: Oh, big secret, everyone can tell they're made of silicorn!

Mr. Hankey: Kids, Christmas is back on! We gotta all go get that old drive-in working again!
Hankey Kids: Okay!
Mrs. Hankey: That's not the only thing we gotta get working again, if you know what I mean. [Points at Mr. Hankey's "crotch"]
Mr. Hankey: Why, why, why do you have to say things like that in front of people?

South Park Season 4 Quotes

It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a woman's separation, this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.

</i> Cartman

Cartman: Suck my balls.
Ms. Choksondik: Present them.
Cartman: What?
Ms. Choksondik: Present: Whip them out and I'll suck 'em.