Bernadette: You know who went on a date the other night? Stewart.
Penny: Oh, good for him.
Bernadette: I thought so too.
Penny: So is she like, homeless or framing him for a crime?

Raj: Why do you need Kripke? Can't you just go to Party City for helium?
Leonard: We'd have to go to every Party City in California.
Howard: Sounds like you on Cinco de Mayo.
Raj: Hey, people were still talking about that party on Siete de Mayo.

Kripke: In fencing, we don't call it a stab. We call it a touch.
Sheldon: Yes, I'm aware. But if I say I want to touch one of my friends, I'll get called into human resources.

Kripke: Before we start, I just want to warn you fencing isn't a joke. I hope you're not here because you think it's going to be like Star Wars.
Leonard: That's not why we're here.
Raj: Yeah, I'm here because I think it's going to be like Game of Thrones.

Penny: Leonard, sweetheart, you twisted your ankle playing Scrabble.
Leonard: I got a triple word score with a double letter Q. If that's not a time to bust out the Scrabble dance, what's the point of having one?

You had me at flag, lost me at football.


I was like the Tin Man, perfectly content until that evil wizard went and gave him a heart.


(Singing) Thor and Dr Jones, Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightening, the other plays with bones.

Howard and Raj

Age is a state of mind, Leonard. In here, I'm 90.


Blue Icees and a trip to the container store? It's like I died and went to the postmortem neuron induced hallucination commonly mistaken as heaven.


Amy got her ears pierced, she broke up with Sheldon, and she made us eat penis cookies.


If there was a hidden compartment, don't you think you'd be stuffed in it by now?


TBBT Quotes

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.

Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for "soup" tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not "soup," it's "courage."
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.