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The-big-bang-theory

Howard: Hey, I work at the same university you do.
Sheldon: Yes, and Hawkeye's in the Avengers but no one ever says, "Help, Hawkeye!"

Penny: Okay, I don't think Meryl Streep ever had to say (deep voice): "Must keep gorilla hands from killing again."
Raj: If she did, it would be amazing. That woman can do no wrong.

Howard: Is that book called Lies I Tell to Get Sex?
Raj: Is that a real book? I would totally read that book.
Amy: Can I borrow it when you're done?

Bernadette: Raj, your tag's sticking out.
Raj: Thank you. That's the closest I've come to sex in like 2 years.
Bernadette: Well, I feel gross.
Raj: Now it's making it seem more real for me.

Well, isn't this nice? Sometimes the baby wins.

Sheldon

Screw that! I sat on the floor for 7 years. I'm staying right here!

Raj

Astronaut Massimino: Well, you know how astronauts need to have the "right stuff"?
Howard: Sure.
Astronaut Massimino: The stuff you have is wrong.

Amy: You don't need to explain yourself to him.
Sheldon: I don't need to explain myself to you!
Amy: You're sick of his nonsense and ready to move in wth me.
Sheldon: Keep the table! We don't use that space!
Amy: Damn it, I got cocky.

Sheldon: How do I know that you're not manipulating me right now?
Amy: I think if I were manipulating you, you'd be smart enough to see it.
Sheldon: How do I know you're not saying that as part of the manipulation?

Sheldon: No, I've changed. Like the frog who's put in a pot of water that's heated so gradually he doesn't realize he's boiling to death.
Penny: Or you're the frog who's been kissed by a princess and turned into a prince.
Leonard: Or, you're just a tall, annoying frog.

Sheldon: I have spent years turning this lump of clay into an acceptable conduit for my will, and then you came along and reshaped him, with your newfangled ideas and your fancy genitals.
Penny: Are you gonna let him talk to me like this?
Leonard: "Fancy" sounds like a compliment.

This is so much better than watching TV like a muggle.

Raj
Displaying quotes 121 - 132 of 1548 in total

TBBT Quotes

Sheldon: I recently read that during World War Two, Joseph Stalin had a research program to create supersoldiers by having women impregnated by gorillas.
Howard: What a sick use of science.
Raj: Hey, as long as the baby's healthy.
Amy: I wonder if Stalin considered any other animals.
Leonard: Hippos are the deadliest creature. A half-human, half-hippo soldier would be pretty badass.
Howard: Yes, but when they're hungry-hungry, you can stop them with marbles.
Sheldon: Yeah, the correct animal for interspecies supersolider is koala. You would wind up with an army so cute it couldn't be attacked.

As soon as we get home, I want to have coitus with Amy. Okay, she can't hear.

Sheldon
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