The Big Bang Theory

The Big Bang Theory Quotes (Page 11)

Season 6 Episode 11: "The Santa Simulation"

Penny: Is having a real-life girlfriend that has sex with you getting in the way of your board games.
Leonard: A little bit, yeah.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Penny: You are so butch.
Leonard: Oh, I got a little paper cut.
Penny: Of course you did, your hands are softer than veal.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 6 Episode 10: "The Fish Guts Displacement"

Sheldon: Is anyone else troubled by the Spider-Man theme song?
Leonard: Why would it trouble you? It's like your third favorite cartoon theme song.
Sheldon: It is, right behind [Sheldon sings "Inspector Gadget" and "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" theme songs]
Sheldon: However, the Spider-Man lyrics posit that Spider-Man's Spider-Man does whatever a spider can.
Howard: Yeah, so?
Sheldon: I can think of many things that Spider-Man can't do that a spider can. One crawl in your ear and die, two legally leave Guatemala without a passport, and three have sex with a spider.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Amy: Oh my.
Sheldon: Excuse me, you aren't supposed to be enjoying this.
Amy: Then maybe you should spank me harder.
Sheldon: Maybe I will.
 • Rating: 3.7 / 5.0

Howard: Boy, we're married to a couple of ball busters, huh, Mike?
Bernadette's Dad: That's my wife and daughter you're talking about.
Howard: Great couple of gals.
Bernadette's Dad: I wouldn't go that far.
 • Rating: Unrated

Amy: Are you saying you want to spank me?
Sheldon: I don't want to. But, it looks like you have left me no choice.
Amy: That's true. I've been a very bad girl.
 • Rating: 4.6 / 5.0

Raj: Mine just took me to his gynecology office. I got so bored I put vaginal lubricant on the bottom of my shoes and pretended I was ice skating.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Sheldon: Amy, would you be strong enough to bath yourself? Or, do you need my help?
Amy: I'll tell him tomorrow. Mama needs a bath.
 • Rating: Unrated

Sheldon: No. I need to get you down for a nap. For some reason that Vaporub gets you all fired up.
 • Rating: Unrated

Raj: You got this buddy.
Leonard: Yeah, come on, Howard. Hook that worm.
Raj: You can do it.
Penny: That's great. Cheerleading. Way to man things up.
 • Rating: Unrated

Penny: Don't name him. Just jam a hook into his face.
 • Rating: Unrated

Sheldon: How can you sleep? I'm not done making you feel better. I still have to put a cold rag on your head, sing to you, and apply Vaporub to your chest.
Amy: You want you rub something on my chest.
Sheldon: Yes, all over it.
Amy: Maybe we should start with that.
Sheldon: Now you're being a responsible patient.
Sheldon: Now, you may notice some tingling.
Amy: Oh, I'm counting on it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Howard: Death by chicken. That's a pretty fowl way to go.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Amy: Sheldon, aren't you gonna take care of me?
Sheldon: Me? No. I'm not that kind of doctor.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 6 Episode 9: "The Parking Spot Escalation"

Sheldon: ... I can personally guarantee it has spent less than 20 minutes on an astronaut's penis.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Sheldon: Lipid residue. An anal autograph. A colon calling card, if you will.
Cleaner: Tuesday okay?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Sheldon: This cushion experienced a nude revenge wiggle.
Cleaner: A what?
Sheldon: A naked man sat on it.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Sheldon: I must be the bigger man. Therefore, you may use my spot until such time that I learn to drive or get a Batmobile.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Sheldon: Revenge is a dish best served nude.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Bernadette: Because I'm the one that had it towed.
Amy: You?
Bernadette: Didn't see that one coming, did ya?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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