The Big Bang Theory

Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBS
The big bang theory
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Arthur: Most-most of my robes open ... in the back.
Sheldon:Those are your Jedi robes.
Arthur: What is this?
Sheldon: Oh! Be careful with that.
Arthur: Whoa! Oh, neato. [laughs] I'm-I'm gonna need a Band-Aid.

Sheldon: You've come to me because you're my Obi-Wan.
Arthur: I'm-I'm not ... I'm not familiar with that. Is... is-is that an ... internet.
Sheldon: Wow. You're dead so I'll let that slide.

Sheldon: Arthur! I thought you were dead.it's fantastic.
Arthur: I am. Oh, it-it's fantastic. I mean this is the longest that I've gone without running into a men's room in-in years.

Leonard: I'm not a crybaby.
Penny: Toy Story 3?
Leonard: They were holding hands in a furnace!

Bernadette: This is pretty cool. You don't see too many spherical cakes.
Amy: I wonder why that is.

Sheldon: When Darth Vader struck down Obi-Wan, did Luke cry like a baby and go to his funeral?
Penny: No. He blew up the Death Star. Why do I know this?!

You're being so quiet. Are you upset or are you just rebooting?

Howard

Sheldon: Amy, mourning the inevitable is a complete waste of time.
Amy: And watching a bunch of goody space movies you've seen hundreds of times isn't?
Sheldon: If we were in a physical relationship, you just lost sex tonight.

Professor Proton is dead?

Sheldon

May the forth be with you. Get it?

Raj

Raj: Then, why do you watch these things?
Emily: Can I tell you something without you judging me?
Raj: Sure.
Emily: They kind of turn me on.
Raj: And play.

You know what this is? Yeah, and I reserve this word for those rare instances when it's truly deserved. This is malarkey!

Sheldon
Displaying quotes 133 - 144 of 1623 in total

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.

Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.

Sheldon