Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
The-big-bang-theory

Raj: This might be my second favorite brown magic wand.
Howard: Well, that's the last time I play with that.

Penny: Translation?
Leonard: Waah. I don't want a table!

Bernadette: Have you guys ever thought about getting a dining room table?
Amy: Yeah. You actually do have room for one up there.
Raj: Oh, sure, I sit on the floor for years, no one cares. The pretty white girl's there ten seconds, and suddenly we're all running to Ikea.

Amy: I deserve romance, and I didn't know how else to make it happen.
Sheldon: Well, if you want romance, then let's have romance! Oh, look, there's wine. Mmm. Grape juice that burns. Uh, now let's gaze into each other's eyes, hmm? You blinked I win. Let's see. What's next? Oh, kissing's romantic.
Amy: That was nice.
Sheldon: Good.

  • Permalink:
  • Added:

Howard: You okay?
Amy: Why? Because my boyfriend's off playing choo-choo with some weirdo?

You do whatever it takes to save her life. If she needs new organs, I'll buy any dog necessary and scrap them for parts!

Raj

Guess if you can guess this one? Bang! Splat! Thud.

Amy

Leonard: In fact, if you want, we can do it right here on Sheldon's spot.
Penny: That is the least sexy thing anyone's ever said to me.

I'm prepared to say I love it, as soon as I confirm there are no hobos aboard.

Sheldon

Amy: An evening looking at the stars, that's still kind of romantic.
Raj: Except I'll be alone.
Amy: I'm trying to put lipstick on a pig here. Work with me.

Sheldon: Howard, which pocket watch will you be wearing at dinner on the train?
Howard: I'm sorry, what?
Sheldon: Oh, I'm afraid if we wear the same pocket watch, it will be embarrassing.
Howard: I don't own a pocket watch.
Sheldon: Oh, my.

  • Permalink:
  • Added:

Leonard: Plus, I'm not sure it's a great idea to take Penny to where wine comes from. [chuckles] What? It's a joke. Oh, come on. We bust on each other. I wear dorky glasses, you might have a problem -- it's all for laughs.
Penny: That would really piss me off if I didn't have a buzz going on.

Displaying quotes 133 - 144 of 1548 in total

TBBT Quotes

Sheldon: I recently read that during World War Two, Joseph Stalin had a research program to create supersoldiers by having women impregnated by gorillas.
Howard: What a sick use of science.
Raj: Hey, as long as the baby's healthy.
Amy: I wonder if Stalin considered any other animals.
Leonard: Hippos are the deadliest creature. A half-human, half-hippo soldier would be pretty badass.
Howard: Yes, but when they're hungry-hungry, you can stop them with marbles.
Sheldon: Yeah, the correct animal for interspecies supersolider is koala. You would wind up with an army so cute it couldn't be attacked.

As soon as we get home, I want to have coitus with Amy. Okay, she can't hear.

Sheldon
×