Leonard: What? You're afraid of both dinosaurs and chickens.
Sheldon: Yes, but tell me a dinosaur chicken salad sandwich wouldn't hit the Mesozoic spot.

If I wanted curls for dinner I'd order a clown wig.

Sheldon

It's a good thing I'm not wearing flag underwear right now because there's about to be a fire.

Amy

Is this when he says bazooka or something?

Penny

Bernadette: They throw an actual ball, you were throwing air at a tv.
Howard: For your information, I also threw Leonard a high five.

Sheldon: Did you enjoy my lecture?
Amy: No, and neither did our waiter.

I know, watching your boyfriend run around with a broomstick between his legs isn't something you forget.

Penny

Okay, that's not what I meant when I said go outside and play

Penny

Howard: You reported me to human resources?
Sheldon: You violated the sanctity of my mouth.
Howard: Well, I dropped your class, so I hope you're happy.

Sheldon: What are you doing now?
Howard: Making a straw.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: So I can shoot you with a spitball.
Sheldon: You're not going to do that, and I'll tell you why. This is an institution of higher learning, I am your professor, and you're going to treat me with the prop... You shot your spit in my mouth!
Howard: Is that gonna be on the test? Because I don't think I could do that again.

Sheldon: What are you doing?
Howard: If you're gonna be a crappy teacher, then I'm gonna be a crappy student.

I can't believe I have to waste my time babysitting a bunch of grad students who probably think dark matter is what's in their diapers.

Sheldon

TBBT Quotes

Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for "soup" tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not "soup," it's "courage."
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.

Feelings? What am I a hippie at a love-in?

Sheldon