The Big Bang Theory

The Big Bang Theory Quotes (Page 9)

Season 6 Episode 11: "The Santa Simulation"

Santa: Ho, ho, ho, you big dork!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Leonard: Okay, so Wolowitz and Stuart are paralyzed, Santa's dead, and I picked this over sex with my girlfriend.
 • Rating: Unrated

Amy: You think that's bad. In college, I passed out at a frat party and woke up with more clothes on.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leonard: I grew up in a house full of crazy academics. Instead of leaving Santa milk and cookies, we had to leave him a research paper. And, in the morning you could tell he'd been there because that paper would be graded.
Sheldon: No wonder you love Christmas. That sounds amazing.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Raj: I bought her a couple drinks and she gave me her email address.
Bernadette: "jennifer@notevenifyourethelastguyonearth.loser"
 • Rating: Unrated

Raj: Wait, doesn't anyone have a-a Rod of Resurrection? If you've got one, I need it bad. Get in here with your rod and give it to me.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stuart: What's wrong with Christmas?
Sheldon: Where to begin? Trees indoors, overuse of the words "tis" and "twas," and the absurd custom of one stocking. Everyone notice socks belong in pairs. Who uses one sock?
Howard: A pirate with a peg leg.
Sheldon: Actually, that helps. Thank you.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Howard: You see, I have to play Dungeons and Dragons ... for the marriage.
Bernadette: You're an idiot.
Howard: I'm your idiot.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Amy: By rolling dice and playing make believe with little figurines?
Sheldon: Like a bunch of savages.
 • Rating: Unrated

Penny: Is having a real-life girlfriend that has sex with you getting in the way of your board games.
Leonard: A little bit, yeah.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Penny: You are so butch.
Leonard: Oh, I got a little paper cut.
Penny: Of course you did, your hands are softer than veal.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 6 Episode 10: "The Fish Guts Displacement"

Sheldon: Is anyone else troubled by the Spider-Man theme song?
Leonard: Why would it trouble you? It's like your third favorite cartoon theme song.
Sheldon: It is, right behind [Sheldon sings "Inspector Gadget" and "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" theme songs]
Sheldon: However, the Spider-Man lyrics posit that Spider-Man's Spider-Man does whatever a spider can.
Howard: Yeah, so?
Sheldon: I can think of many things that Spider-Man can't do that a spider can. One crawl in your ear and die, two legally leave Guatemala without a passport, and three have sex with a spider.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Amy: Oh my.
Sheldon: Excuse me, you aren't supposed to be enjoying this.
Amy: Then maybe you should spank me harder.
Sheldon: Maybe I will.
 • Rating: 3.7 / 5.0

Howard: Boy, we're married to a couple of ball busters, huh, Mike?
Bernadette's Dad: That's my wife and daughter you're talking about.
Howard: Great couple of gals.
Bernadette's Dad: I wouldn't go that far.
 • Rating: Unrated

Amy: Are you saying you want to spank me?
Sheldon: I don't want to. But, it looks like you have left me no choice.
Amy: That's true. I've been a very bad girl.
 • Rating: 4.6 / 5.0

Raj: Mine just took me to his gynecology office. I got so bored I put vaginal lubricant on the bottom of my shoes and pretended I was ice skating.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Sheldon: Amy, would you be strong enough to bath yourself? Or, do you need my help?
Amy: I'll tell him tomorrow. Mama needs a bath.
 • Rating: Unrated

Sheldon: No. I need to get you down for a nap. For some reason that Vaporub gets you all fired up.
 • Rating: Unrated

Raj: You got this buddy.
Leonard: Yeah, come on, Howard. Hook that worm.
Raj: You can do it.
Penny: That's great. Cheerleading. Way to man things up.
 • Rating: Unrated

Penny: Don't name him. Just jam a hook into his face.
 • Rating: Unrated

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