The Big Bang Theory Quotes
Something just didn't seem right about Koothrapeeney.Raj
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I'm saying, in the spirit of science, what is that little skank's problem?Amy
Amy: I'm stimulating the pleasures of this starfish. I just need to turn it off.
Penny: What happens if you don't?
Amy: Then I have to sit through lunch knowing this starfish is having a better day than I am.
Sheldon: So your solution is to promote me and pay me more money so tha tI can impart my knowledge to the next generation of scientists?
Mrs. Davis: Yes.
Sheldon: You people are sick.
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Sheldon: I recently read that during World War Two, Joseph Stalin had a research program to create supersoldiers by having women impregnated by gorillas.
Howard: What a sick use of science.
Raj: Hey, as long as the baby's healthy.
Amy: I wonder if Stalin considered any other animals.
Leonard: Hippos are the deadliest creature. A half-human, half-hippo soldier would be pretty badass.
Howard: Yes, but when they're hungry-hungry, you can stop them with marbles.
Sheldon: Yeah, the correct animal for interspecies supersolider is koala. You would wind up with an army so cute it couldn't be attacked.
As soon as we get home, I want to have coitus with Amy. Okay, she can't hear.Sheldon
Be right there, Deb Deb!Stuart
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Bernadette: Why don't I get you a job at the Sitting Around All Day Wearing Yoga Pants Factory?
Penny: They're comfortable.
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Sheldon: Sherlock Holmes always says when you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. Now, have-have you tried doing that?
Officer Hernandez: Nope.
Sheldon: Well, maybe you should. Th-th-there's lots of books called "Sherlock Holmes" and there's no books called "Officer Hernandez."
Howard: Creepy chummy, like you and your dog.
Raj: She feeds him out of her own mouth?
Howard: I mean, he calls her Debbie, she calls him Stewie and they're all giggly around each other. And believe me, when food goes in that mouth, it does not come out.
Penny: Hi. Want to do yoga with me?
Leonard: Um, let me just have some coffee first, and then I'll have the strength to tell you how much I won't be doing that.
Now, typically I wear pajamas, but I recently adopted a hobo lifestyle and pajamas are the sleep-pants of the Man. I'll have you know, Mahatma Gandhi wore no pants and a nation rallied behind him!Sheldon
Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.
Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.Sheldon