Amy: Some people think the sexiest organ is the brain.
Penny: No one ever bought me drinks at a bar because my brain just popped out of my shirt.

You eat it. You're married. It doesn't matter what you look like.


He's having a rough time. Amy broke his heart. The DVR cut off the last minute of Dr. Who. That crow followed him home.


I admire your father's work. It's not every day that I get to meet someone who's life journey began in my hero's scrotum.


This is a documentary about Mr. Spock. I'm sure if there is nudity it will be tasteful.


Raj: Oh, hey! High five!
Sheldon: Absolutely not.

Penny: Does the study say what happens to unpopular kids?
Leonard: You tell me. You woke up in bed with one.

He has glasses, and I'm a know it all. We're not built for prison.


Sheldon: How do we know you're not going to take the money and drive away?
Leonard: Whatcha doing, Skippy?
Sheldon: Exactly what 1970s crima dramas have taught us.

Howard: What was wrong with that guy?
Raj: Um, he's Indian. We've already got one of those.

Bernadette: You know who went on a date the other night? Stewart.
Penny: Oh, good for him.
Bernadette: I thought so too.
Penny: So is she like, homeless or framing him for a crime?

Raj: Why do you need Kripke? Can't you just go to Party City for helium?
Leonard: We'd have to go to every Party City in California.
Howard: Sounds like you on Cinco de Mayo.
Raj: Hey, people were still talking about that party on Siete de Mayo.

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.

Bernadette: I had a plan. I kept leaving Dove bar wrappers around to explain any weight gain.
Amy: Where did you get empty Dove bar wrappers?
Bernadette: From all the DOVE BARS I ATE. I'M PREGNANT. Try to keep up!