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The-big-bang-theory

Amy: An evening looking at the stars, that's still kind of romantic.
Raj: Except I'll be alone.
Amy: I'm trying to put lipstick on a pig here. Work with me.

Sheldon: Howard, which pocket watch will you be wearing at dinner on the train?
Howard: I'm sorry, what?
Sheldon: Oh, I'm afraid if we wear the same pocket watch, it will be embarrassing.
Howard: I don't own a pocket watch.
Sheldon: Oh, my.

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Leonard: Plus, I'm not sure it's a great idea to take Penny to where wine comes from. [chuckles] What? It's a joke. Oh, come on. We bust on each other. I wear dorky glasses, you might have a problem -- it's all for laughs.
Penny: That would really piss me off if I didn't have a buzz going on.

Amy: I'm sorry, but "Gollum" and "Flakey" are not acceptable.
Sheldon: Well, you don't like "Princess Corncob," you don't like "Fester" -- you're just impossible to please.

Uh ... who's Angie Dickinson?

Sheldon

James Earl Jones: Why don't you and your friends come to Comic-Con with me?
Sheldon: Really?
James Earl Jones: Of course. And San Diego is right across the border from my favorite city on Earth, Tijuana.... where I'm taking you every night!
Sheldon: Ay-yi-yi.
James Earl Jones: Ay-yi-yi. Bang. Bang.

James Earl Jones: What were you asking me at the strip club?
Sheldon: Oh. How much does it cost me to get them off my lap?

Carrie Fisher: It's not funny anymore, James!
James Earl Jones: Then why am I laughing!

Sheldon: Hey Los Angeles! I'm on a ferris wheel with Darth Vader! He's nicer than you think!
James Earl Jones: I am!

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