Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBS
The-big-bang-theory

Bernadette: How come the three of you never got an apartment together?
Leonard: We talked about it, but Howard was in a pretty serious relationship with his mom.
Howard: I lived with her to save money.
Raj: You didn't have to buy groceries because you were breast feeding.

Penny: So what do you think.
Sheldon: A tad asymmetrical but nothing to be worried about.

I have two Ph. D's but somehow I'm the janitor of my sister's birth canal.

Sheldon

Sheldon: I've seen things. Lady things.
Amy: Listen to me. That is not the way they usually look.
Sheldon: It doesn't matter. This is no way to make new humans. People coming out of people. Some kind of dirty magic show.

And turn the bedroom floor into a amniotic slip and slide

Sheldon

Sheldon: The second I go out of town you throw a Christmas party without me?
Amy: Yeah, kind of.
Sheldon: That's so thoughtful. You guys are the best.

Penny: Oh, that's great. You're gonna be an uncle. Uncle Sheldon.
Sheldon: No. I'll be Uncle Dr. Cooper.

I hope it's just a sprain. I cannot walk into that ER with another video game injury.

Leonard

Amy: It's a beautiful night. Why don't you and I go for a nice walk together?
Sheldon: Everything is just sex with you, isn't it?
Raj: Sheldon, I think you might find the support you're looking for, if you realize that relationships are a give and take. She can only be there for you as much as you are for her.
Amy: Thank you, Rajesh.
Raj: And, Amy, you need to be patient with Sheldon, instead of pressuring him to accept intimacy on your terms.
Amy: You should probably go.

Bark once if you need me to call PETA.

Penny

Leonard: I can't believe they kicked you out.
Raj: I can't believe they're still married.

Yeah, we were totally fine half-assing our marriage till you showed up.

Bernadette
Displaying quotes 157 - 168 of 1524 in total

Want more The Big Bang Theory?

Sign up for our daily newsletter and receive the latest tv news delivered to your inbox for free!

TBBT Quotes

Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for "soup" tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not "soup," it's "courage."
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.

x Close Ad