The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSThe Big Bang Theory Quotes
Katee: Thanks, Howard. Always nice to be part of your masturbatory fantasies.
Wolowitz: Come on, Katee. Don't make it sound so cheap.
Katee: I'm sorry. Fiddling with yourself in the bathtub is a real class act.
Wolowitz [about Bernadette]: She wants a commitment, but I'm not sure if she's my type.
Penny: She agreed to go out with you for free. What more do you need?
My mother is very excited. She's convening her Bible study group to listen in and then pray for my soul.
Sheldon
Wolowitz: Before you and Penny hooked up, did she ask for any sort of commitment?
Leonard: No, she was pretty clear about wanting to keep her options open.
Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for "soup" tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not "soup," it's "courage."
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.
Leonard: The meteors are so pretty.
Raj: With your American accent, everything you say sounds stupid.
You keep in mind that my sharply-worded comments on yelp.com recently took down a muffin store
Sheldon
Sheldon [filling out medical form]: When was your last menstrual period?
Penny: Oh! Next question!
Sheldon: I'll put in progress
If I could speak the language of rabbits, they would be amazed and I would be their king... I would be kind to my rabbit subjects... at first.... One day, I hold a great ball for the President of France, but the rabbits don't come. I'm embarrassed so I eat all the lettuce in the world.. and make the rabbits watch.
Raj
Wolowitz: There are two not-unattractive middle school teachers.
Raj: Wonderful. How old are they?
Wolowitz: Fifty, fifty-five.
Raj: Woh, menopause, nature's birth control.
I should have asked for much more than a comic book and a robot.
Sheldon
"Sorry" doesn't make up for the fact that I had to make chicken and rice with this vegan guy! Do you know what vegan chicken and rice is? Rice!
Raj
