The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSThe Big Bang Theory Quotes
Wolowitz: Listen, you have to come to Shabbas dinner at my house sometime.
Bernadette: Why?
Wolowitz: A Catholic girl like you, wearing big cross like that, might just give my mother that big brain aneurysm I've been hoping for.
Bernadette: Only if you come to Sunday dinner at my house wearing a yamaka
Wolowitz: It's a date
Bernadette: Does your mother call you every day at work to see if you've had a healthy lunch?
Wolowitz: My mother calls me every day to see if I've had a healthy bowel movement
Wil [about Sheldon]: Did that guy just say, "revenge is a dish best served cold" in Klingon?
Stuart: I believe so
Wil: What is wrong with him?
Stuart: Everyone has a different theory
Sorry boys, say "hi" to your mother when she comes to pick you up... or I could just tell her later tonight!
Raj
It might also interest you to know that Wil Wheaton currently ranks sixth on my all-time enemies list, right between director Joel Schumacher, who nearly destroyed the Batman movie franchise, and Billy Sparks, who lived down the street from me and put dog poop on the handles of my bicycle
Sheldon
Leonard: You know deep down on the inside, Howard's a good guy
Penny: The problem isn't what's on the inside, it's the creepy candy coating
Raj: Did you know, in the Mumbai-McDonald's you can't get a Big Mac? All you can get is a Chicken Maharajah Mac. And the special sauce: Curry. Which, in India, believe you me, is really not that special
Raj: No, no, no, no, that rate is much too low for what you'd expect from this collision. Do you understand we're taking about dark matter colliding in outer space?
Sheldon: Yes, of course I understand, and who are you to tell me about outer space?
Raj: Well, I am the astrophysicist! Astro means space!
Sheldon: Astro means star.
Raj: Okay, let me just tell you, if we were having this argument in my native language, I'd be kicking your butt!
Sheldon: English is your native language!
Okay, please don't take this the wrong way, but I'd rather swim butt-naked across the Ganges with a paper cut on my nipple and die a slow agonizing death from a viral infection than work with you
Raj [to Sheldon]
Wolowitz: So, what are we watching? Sex in the City, yikes!
Penny: Hey, I happen to love this movie.
Wolowitz: Fine, let's watch it. Maybe all our periods will synchronize
I'm going to be deported, sent home in disgrace, exposed to the sardonic barbs of my cousin Sanjay, or as you may know him, Dave from AT&T customer service
Raj
I don't want to go back to India! It's hot, and it's loud, and there are so many people! You have no idea -- they're everywhere.
Raj
