Penny: Sheldon, we are just people. we talk about the same things you guys talk about.
Sheldon: You talk about if werewolves can swim?

Sheldon: I don't want to tell you how to do your job, but when a mouse completes a maze it gets a food pellet.
Amy: It also gets its brain plucked out with tweezers.
Sheldon: And its last meal was a food pellet? You're a monster.

I love him, but if he's broken, let's not get a new one.

Penny

Sheldon: Nothing more fun than a paradigm shifting evening of science.
Penny: (to Leonard) And you thought it was soaping me up in the shower.

Do you realize I don't live with the woman I love because of you?

Leonard

Sheldon: There were plenty of ways to pass the time before smartphones were invented.
Leonard: That's true.
Sheldon: I'll look them up... Oh, son of a biscuit!

What kind of scientist are you? everyone knows you've gotta make two out of three!

Raj

Raj: No, I'm not okay. I feel like I'm going to jump out of my skin.
Bernadette: I told you not to wax down there.

Leonard: Hang on. Why do we have to hate it?
Penny: Three words. Dr. Who Convention.

Penny: Oh, I know. We could go horseback riding.
Amy: Actually I can't. My hips don't open wider than 22 degrees. I rode a very thin pony once. On the first bump I just pssshh, popped right off.

Howard: Why do you keep assuming it was me?
Leonard: Because you do this kind of thing all the time, and then you try to cover it up.
Howard: Like when?
Leonard: What about when you flipped the Mars Rover, or lost Koothrappali's dog, or almost drove off with that baby?
Howard: Again, it looked like my car, and the baby didn't even cry until his mother punched me with her keys.

Amy: Well, you got me something. Here.
Sheldon: Cookies?
Amy: They're your Meemaw's Christmas cookies. I called and got
the recipe.
Sheldon: They're perfect. It tastes like her hugs.
Amy: Merry Christmas, Sheldon.
Sheldon: I can't believe this. You're happy, I'm happy. Well, maybe a holiday that's all about giving isn't so...Get your hand out of that box!

TBBT Quotes

You can't ruin a friendship with sex that's like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles.

Raj

Sheldon: Even the dung beetle chooses to plot its course by using the Milky Way.
Raj: Is that true?
Sheldon: Everything I say is true. Now, of course, the dung beetle also enjoys eating fece, living in feces and making little balls out of feces. So, pick and choose which aspects of its lifestyle you want to embrace.