Is the fetus helping you? Because that's cheating.


Penny: Sheldon, did you draft the contract?
Sheldon: You bet I did.
Penny [to Amy]: You're gonna make out so hard tonight.

You're more than just my roommate. You're my partner.


Bernadette: What kind of cake do you like?
Sheldon: My favorite is chocolate with strawberry frosting, three layers. And if there's writing on it, make sure it's not all caps. I don't want my dessert yelling at me.

Can we please drop this subject and pick a new one? I suggest, how thick can a soup get before it becomes a stew. The answer -- it may surprise you.


Penny: Wait a minute, you mention his birthday and he vanishes?
Leonard: Where's that information been this whole time?

Bernadette: How is that a drunk text?
Amy: He used a period instead of a question mark. He's so wasted!

Leonard: You know what we should do?
Sheldon: All go out and get vasectomies so this doesn't happen to us?

I shouldn't be raising a kid! I don't even eat my own vegetables.


Leonard: Why, 'oh no'?
Sheldon: Because this changes everything. What about comic book night? What about playing games together? What about our trips to Disneyland? How can we do those things with a child around?!"

We're gonna be parents! We're gonna get to board planes first! I'm finally gonna get to see what's in that family bathroom at the mall!


Bernadette: Well why did you put your finger near it's mouth?
Howard: Poor judgement, obviously.

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.

Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for "soup" tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not "soup," it's "courage."
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.