Amy got her ears pierced, she broke up with Sheldon, and she made us eat penis cookies.

Penny

If there was a hidden compartment, don't you think you'd be stuffed in it by now?

Leonard

Howard: I bet he picked up a lot of cute grad students in this bad boy.
Sheldon: And talked about physics with them!

It's bad enough I'm being taken against my will. I don't see why it has to be in some hippie's mobile sex dungeon.

Sheldon

Boy if my mom could see me now, she'd lock me in the sin closet.

Amy

Penny: Sheldon, I can't believe you got us a wedding gift.
Sheldon: I don't know why you're so surprised. I watch movies. I see what people do.

I've loved you since the moment we met, and I'll love you until the end of time.

Leonard

Leonard: Penny, after all these years, I still feel like maybe I don't deserve you.
Penny: Okay, that is the lamest excuse you could have possibly come up with. But I get it.
Leonard: You do?
Penny: Yeah. Sometimes I worry I'm gonna wake up, and you're going to leave me for someone like you.

The show must go on, and thankfully all the things my girlfriend used to do can be taken care of with my right hand.

Sheldon

Finally, there's a Mrs. Hofstadter that isn't disappointed in me.

Leonard

Bernadette: Aw, that was beautiful.
Howard: Yeah, I mean not like our wedding, beautiful.
Bernadette: No, we totally won.

We make everyone feel awkward. That's our thing.

Sheldon

TBBT Quotes

I just gave you my virginity, woman. Cool your jets!

Sheldon

(Singing) Thor and Dr Jones, Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightening, the other plays with bones.

Howard and Raj