Penny: Wait, hang on-- you guys are gonna work in a mine?
Sheldon: Why not?
Penny: You had a panic attack when we went through the car wash.

Penny: I hate her.
Emily: I hate her.

Leonard: Hold on. So, your idea is to get a van and cruise the streets looking for kids to pick up?
Guys: Yes.
Leonard: And are you gonna use candy to lure them in?
Raj: We are now!

Penny: Well, I wouldn't exactly call it a hook-up.
Emily: Did you kiss?
Penny: Yeah.
Emily: Were you naked?
Penny: Yeah.
Emily: So, it was a hook-up.

Sheldon: I'll give you a plan right now. Step one: open comic book store.
Step two: start rumor this comic book store gives you genital warts.
Step three: buy a big bag to put the money in.
Leonard: It's not that bad.

Howard: All I know is, he's got my mother buying four-ply toilet paper. I mean, four-ply. If his butt is so delicate,why doesn't he just use an angora rabbit?
Sheldon: For starters, they shed and bite.

Sheldon: I have some odd freckles on my buttocks. Can I make an appointment for you to look at them?
Emily: Um... okay, I guess.
Amy: I'm with him three years, nothing. She's with two minutes, and he's taking his pants off.

Raj: Since when do you read Social Science?
Sheldon: I go to the bathroom like everybody else.

Leonard: What? You're afraid of both dinosaurs and chickens.
Sheldon: Yes, but tell me a dinosaur chicken salad sandwich wouldn't hit the Mesozoic spot.

If I wanted curls for dinner I'd order a clown wig.

Sheldon

It's a good thing I'm not wearing flag underwear right now because there's about to be a fire.

Amy

Is this when he says bazooka or something?

Penny

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.

Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for "soup" tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not "soup," it's "courage."
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.