Mondays 9:00 PM on A&E

Jim: Wrist and ankles were restrained.
Carlos: Yeah, some kind of steel wire.
Jim: So someone restrained this guy killed, wrapped him in plastic and was about to ship him overseas. Turns out he was dying to travel.
Carlos: [rolls his eyes]
Jim: Oh come on, that was a good one.

Michael: Like you not buying a condo that I'm not going to live in.
Joan: Ok. Fine. Yeah, I won't condo that you're not going to live in.
Michael: Really? Ok, fine. You serve.
Callie: What just happened?
Jim: I think my dad just retired.

Jim: Hey Tony. Thanks for meeting me.
Tony: No problem, what do you have for me?
Jim: Oh, I thought you had something for me. You know cause of the look.
Tony: I gave you a look? You gave me a look.
Jim: After you gave me a look.
Tony: It wasn't a look, it was just my face.

Carlos: Plastic curtain suggests she was in the shower.
Jim: And the shower curtain suggests all our evidence has gone down the drain.

Jim: Hey you know what I realize these last 2 weeks since Jeff has been away? That kid of yours has way too many chores.
Callie: Don't worry you can split it with him after we're married.
Jim: Chores does build character.

Michael: I called your mother back.
Jim: Oh good.
Michael: You're right about one thing. I don't have to cheat on her to know she's had enough.
42 years and your mother can't trust me. Expects me to give up a life and a friendship I've had for 20 years. I don't know what to say to that.
Jim: What did you say Dad?
Michael: Your mother and I are calling it quits.

Jim: It could have waited till morning.
Callie: It was morning.
Jim: I mean morning-morning. Not middle of the night morning.
Callie: Really Jim? I know you're tired, I'm tired too, but I don't bitch when Carlos calls in the middle of night saying he's got some dead roller-skating mermaid or whatever.

Looks like the only way Mitch was going to lose this house was over his dead body.


Callie: I have a patient in need, Jim. And I'm going to be a doctor someday, so you're going to have to get use to interruptions in the middle of the night. God knows I have.
Jim: What's that supposed to mean? [his phone rings showing Manus]

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