Favorite The Office Quotes
I don't have kids or anything, but if my grandmother ever dies I'm going to kill myself.
Andy
Creed: That is "Northern Lights". Cannabis indica.
Dwight: [sighs] No, it's marijuana.
I hear Angela's party will have double fudge brownies. But it will also have Angela.
Kevin
Michael. Well, well, well, what is this contraption, I do declare?!
Oscar: It's my Blackberry, Michael. I'm trying to get updates on the company.
Michael: Who's Michael? I'm Caleb Crawdad, I do declare!
Ryan: You don't have to keep saying 'I do declare.' Every time you say something, it means you're declaring it.
Pam: Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.
Jim: [on his cell phone] Dunder Mifflin, this is Jim!
Fool me once, strike one. Fool me twice... strike three.
Michael
Salesman is king. As the best salesman I am king of kings. Oh, you say Jesus is king of kings? Well, what does that say to you about how I think of myself.
Dwight
As you may have heard, our branch on the planet Jupiter is up 8,000 percent in sales.
Michael
Pam: What else was there?
Jim: Bottomless champagne.
Pam: Yes. We never found that bottom did we?
Normally I don't condone leaving early, but I have an appointment with the horse doctor. How that horse became a doctor, I don't know. [laughs] No, I'm kidding. He's just a regular doctor who shoots your horse in the head when its leg is broken.
Dwight
Michael: Where'd you get that information?
Oscar: Manual.
Michael: Manuel who?
Just once, I'd like to be a puppet master and have nothing go wrong. Is that too much to ask?
Dwight
