Favorite The Office Quotes
Have you tried making everything smaller?
Creed
You ever notice you can only ooze two things? Sexuality and pus. Man, I tell ya.
Creed
I'll see your situation and I'll raise you a situation. Your company is losing clients left and right. You have a stockholder meeting coming up and you're going to have to explain to them why your most profitable branch is bleeding. So they may be looking for a little change in the CFO. So I don't think I need to wait out Dunder Mifflin. I think I just have to wait out you.
Michael
Michael: I have dibs. Do you respect dibs?
Dwight: (scoffs) I'm not a barbarian.
[to Ryan] Don't fall in love with me, kid.
Meredith
Darryl: What flavor is that?
Warehouse Guy: Coconut Penis.
Michael: Hey Stanley, is that jacket made of updog?
Stanley: I'm on the phone.
I am a huge Woody Allen fan, although I've only seen Antz.
Michael
Toby: Hey, Meredith. Can I talk to you privately for a second?
Meredith: About what?
Toby: Your outfit.
Meredith: What? What's wrong with my outfit?
Toby: You ... might consider pulling it down a touch. It's ... it's riding up a little high.
Meredith: A bunch of prudes. You know, Oscar's allowed to wear sandals, but I'm not allowed to wear open-toed shoes? [pulls down dress, office gasps] Is that how it goes?
Oscar: Meredith, your boob is out.
Meredith: Fine. [pulls dress up, everyone gasps again]
Angela: Meredith, too far!
Kelly: Dammit, Meredith, where are your panties?
Meredith: It's casual day. Happy?
You're a perfectly fine toilet. I'm just an extraordinary piece of crap.
Dwight
Kevin: Hahaha. Tea.
Andy: I like tea.
Kevin: You WOULD.
Andy: I like it a lot!
Kevin: I bet you do.
Andy: I REALLY like it!
Kevin: Do you like it as much as you like men's butts?!
Andy: What?
Kevin: 'Cause you're GAY!
Just pretend like we're talking until the cops leave.
Creed
