They're going to be pretty pleased in Tallahassee that I snagged an Indian for the program. She'll be the first, the program's mostly black it's ... almost too black. That didn't sound right.

Gabe

Kelly will be even worse than Darryl. If you'd have told me this morning that today I'd be creating a monster capable of my own destruction, I'd have thought you were referring to the bull Mose and I are trying to reanimate.

Dwight

Kelly: Can you stop micro-managing? I know how to do this.
Dwight: What are you guys doing?
Kelly: This girl was really rude to me at the mall, so I created a fake IM account from a hot guy at her high school, and now I'm trying to make her anorexic.
Ryan: Tell her everyone in homeroom thinks she's fat.
Kelly: That is so good.

You know, when I tore my scrote, I was, uhhh, I was seeing this really hot urologist about it and I thought she was into me. But, now I think she was just doing a bunch of stuff to bill my HMO. You know. She's touching around down there it's easy to get confused.

Andy

What sort of movie would Rudy have been if he had just stopped and given up after two rejections. Would've been a less shorter. Probably been a lot funnier. But it would have ultimately been a disappointment. I still would have seen it. But, that's not... the point.

Michael

Oscar: I don't see how we can possibly sell these for that little without losing money. Delivery alone will cost-
Michael: Okay, well sometimes, sometimes, it makes financial sense to lose money, right? Like for tax purposes?
Oscar: Actually, I ran the numbers on this, and in this case, it makes financial sense to gain ... money?
Michael: Why don't you run them again.
Jim: What if she's just flirting with you to get a better price.
Michael: If she is it's working.

I took the liberty to scan a few things earlier and I want to show you. There we go! Look at those vivid colors. Look at my eyes! Those are Shrek green eyes. That is me again! I think this displays the crisp, dazzling white. And that would be a display of the crisp. Gorgeous. Black.

Michael

Kelly: I never thought of myself as an executive before.
Dwight: I know, because you have no role models! How many Indian CEOs can you think of?
Kelly: I can't think of any CEOs. Any race.
Dwight: You could be the Indian Bill Gates. You could be the Indian... Ted Turner.
Kelly: I could be the Indian Julia Roberts.
Dwight: That's not... [sighs] she's... OK. Yes.

Dwight: Man! White people, right?
Kelly: I don't know if she was white.
Dwight: Well you can kind of tell from their voice.
Kelly: Yeah.
Dwight: I bet you get pulled over by the cops a lot because of your race.
Kelly: Well they say it's because of texting but, maybe you're right.

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