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Dwight: How do I apply?
Gabe: You have to be a minority.
Dwight: Uh, glasses wearers? Cholera survivors? Geniuses? Non-organic family farmers? The list goes on and on you want me to keep going?
Gabe: Those don't really count. We're thinking more, ethnic and racial minorities.
Dwight: Come here, come here. Ten seconds ago this guy was driving a forklift, OK? Now all of a sudden he's Cinderella of the office. What are you guys thinking?
Darryl: I like the sound of this. Maybe someday I'll be sitting in Michael's chair. Wouldn't that be something.

Michael: Hi! Sorry, to interrupt, a little time sensitive. [to Donna] Do you, Donna, by any chance happen to shop at Victoria Secret?
Jim Halpert: What?
Michael: Because I keep getting these magazines sent to me via the address of the woman who used to live in my condo before me?
Jim: None of this is time sensitive.
Michael: Uh, yes. Uh, the sale is on now through May.

Jim: Alright so I'll finish up on bulk pricing and then you go into delivery guarantee.
Pam: You know maybe there's an opportunity for a joke there. Like um, like, "I just delivered a baby. They didn't offer me a guarantee!"
Jim: Yeah or maybe we don't even need that.

Dwight: Speaking of rainbows, Oscar, you are, kind of a double minority. Gay. So, we at Sabre could really benefit from your perspective.
Oscar: Dwight. We know Kelly applied. We're not going to cross her. No matter how good the program is.
Dwight: I can protect you from Kelly.
Erin: [scoffs]
Dwight: Will you get out of here? Seriously!

Dwight: Well, obviously, she's, brown-ish but, come on I mean Darryl is far more, ethnic.
Gabe: Darryl withdrew his application. The dates of the Yale program interfered with his softball league so, he's gone.

It's subtle. This is how it works. I show her an image that turns her on. And, then she looks at me and then she looks at the image then back at me then back at the image, soon she doesn't know what is me what is the image, she just knows that she is turned on.

Michael

[on the phone] This is the second time that you've sent me the wrong size. I mean I know what a four should feel like I've been a four my whole life. You know what? You can go to hell, alright? Thanks for nothing.

Kelly

One minority from this branch is going to get into this program. Who would I prefer? Hmm. A competent hard-working one who does things his own way? Or the malleable simpleton who can be bought for a few fashion magazines?

Dwight

I don't understand why Michael is wasting his time with Spanish. I have it on very good authority, that within 20 years everyone will be speaking German. Or a Chinese-German hybrid.

Dwight

They're going to be pretty pleased in Tallahassee that I snagged an Indian for the program. She'll be the first, the program's mostly black it's ... almost too black. That didn't sound right.

Gabe

Kelly will be even worse than Darryl. If you'd have told me this morning that today I'd be creating a monster capable of my own destruction, I'd have thought you were referring to the bull Mose and I are trying to reanimate.

Dwight

Kelly: Can you stop micro-managing? I know how to do this.
Dwight: What are you guys doing?
Kelly: This girl was really rude to me at the mall, so I created a fake IM account from a hot guy at her high school, and now I'm trying to make her anorexic.
Ryan: Tell her everyone in homeroom thinks she's fat.
Kelly: That is so good.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 30 in total

The Office Season 6 Episode 23 Quotes

Just once, I'd like to be a puppet master and have nothing go wrong. Is that too much to ask?

Dwight

She could've left a while ago. Most printer sales are done over the phone, Ms. Boob-shirt.

Pam