The Office

The Office Quotes (Page 5)

Episode 4: "Garden Party"

Walter: And this must be your lovely wife Pam.
Meredith: Hell no. She wishes.
 • Rating: Unrated

Gabe: Hey Andy, how about you don't steal my business strategies, and I won't dress like life is just one long brunch.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: You don't need a reason to throw a garden party anymore than you need a reason to throw a birthday party.
 • Rating: Unrated

Episode 3: "Lotto"

Jim: This is literally how they built the pyramids.
Dwight: Well they whipped people, which was helpful.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ryan: Everybody wants to be rich, but nobody wants to work for it.
Pam: You came in at 10:30 today right?
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: You do have a fantastic basement.
Darryl: I did. I did have a fantastic basement. Now it smells like tacos.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kevin: Good old Kevin. He'll do anything. Well guess what? I will not do a good job.
 • Rating: Unrated

Pam: I think we should get a townhouse in SoHo.
Ryan: SoHo's mostly lofts but okay.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim: I mean I don't even know what I'd do with all that money.
Dwight: I know what you'd do with all that money. "Hey Pam, let's buy expensive bathrobes and hug."
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Oscar: This guy's been gone long enough. He's lost his right to a window.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: We're losing cloud cover.
Kelly: Oh don't try to get in on it now, Michael Vick.
Darryl: Hey, hey...Vick did his time.
 • Rating: 2.5 / 5.0

Kevin: I'm gonna get in my car. When I start dying I will honk the horn three times. That means save the dog.
 • Rating: Unrated

Episode 2: "The Incentive"

Robert: There's something about an underdog that really inspires the unexceptional.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Andy: Ow, ow!
Tattoo Artist: That was just the cotton swab.
Andy: Invest in softer cotton, sir.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Andy: Let's ink my stink!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Andy: I guess you could say I'm in one of those ass tattoo incentive situations.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Andy: You think it has anything to do with the incentive program?
Jim: Oh absolutely. People wanna see you tattoo your ass.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight (to Oscar): Your friend Neil Patrick Harris really made me laugh the other night.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Episode 1: "The List"

Robert: You want a three and a half day weekend for Columbus Day?
Andy: Yes I do.
Robert: And you are aware Columbus and his legions committed genocide against an entire civilization of Native Americans?
Andy: I don't care.
 • Rating: 3.7 / 5.0

Andy: Just to show you I'm being fair, you had Gabe in the losers column...I think that is astute. Good call.
 • Rating: Unrated

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