You had black hair and then grey hair.


Actually that goes for all of you double XLs...Stanley, Kevin, this kid in a few years.


I guess I can cancel my order from, because oh the loafers have arrived.


You're back...and you're disgusting.


Your boyfriend, he look like a pretty girl.

Nail Salon Worker

I really like Andy these days. He's pretend and he does exactly what I tell him to.


Bam Andy! How you like me now? I hope as a friend.


I have to say, I like hanging out with a vengeful bitch.


We can tell him his mother is dying. That usually works on him.


Our house is not kid friendly. Most of our furniture is sharp. Also, eww.


Angela: Someone say something.
Stanley: I said something when they were thinking of hiring Jim. Didn't work then. Now look what he's doing to us.

Meredith: If I ever got that bad, you'd tell me right?
Kevin: Meredith I tell you all the time.

The Office Quotes

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.


Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.