The Office

The Office Quotes (Page 5)

Season 9 Episode 11: "The Suit Warehouse"

Dwight: You can make it in 30 minutes if you drive 240 miles an hour.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: I hope you've been paying your wig storage bills Jimbo, because it's time for another episode of Handsome and Stinky: Paper Brothers For Hire.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 9 Episode 10: "Lice"

Meredith: Who's the one who didn't bring lice into the office? Meredith. Sure I gave everybody pink eye once, and my ex keyed a few of their cars, and yeah I BMed in the shredder on New Years. But I didn't bring the lice in. That was all Pam.
 • Rating: Unrated

Val: Yeah, Kevin asked me out. I was kinda feeling good about reentering the dating pool, but then Kevin asked me out. Thought I might trade up to a new level of man. Then Kevin asked me out.
 • Rating: Unrated

Pam: Maybe it was Meredith. Maybe she brought in lice that are totally different than the lice that i got from Cece. So let's not jump to the simplest conclusion that she got her lice from me. That is how wars get started. Fine, I'll tell her it was me.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: Of all of the vermin in God's great green kingdom, lice are the ones I detest the most. My first day of school, I had lice, and no one would play with me. For 15 years, they called me freak and four eyes and sci-fi nerd and girl puncher. All because I had lice when I was 7.
 • Rating: Unrated

Pam: I'm sure she's just confused. People scratch their heads when they're confused. Not always like an ape, the way Meredith just did, but it happens.
 • Rating: Unrated

Darryl: Me and Val were going nowhere and if I'm gonna be working in Philly, I'm gonna need my freedom. So, I convinced Val to breakup with me. Here's how you do it. You say, "What are you gonna do, breakup with me?" Like it's a joke, and then you gain a lot of weight.
 • Rating: Unrated

Pam: Jim's been spending a few days a week in Philly and I'm not gonna lie, it's been challenging. Yesterday, things took a turn for the worse. I found out Cece has lice. So I was up all night disinfecting every sheet, towel, toy, item of clothing in the entire house. I'm exhausted. But don't tell Jim. He has a huge meeting today, under a lot of pressure and he's doing it all for the family.
 • Rating: Unrated

Erin: Good morning, Meredith.
Pam: What?
Erin: Oh, sorry, Pam. Yikes.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 9 Episode 9: "Dwight Christmas"

Jim: That's my favorite part of Christmas, the authority.
Pam: And the fear.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dwight: Excuse me, I have to run to my car, to take a dump.
Kevin: wish my car had a bathroom.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Toby: I would start at the beginning, but I think I need to go farther back.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Kevin: Mini-cupcakes? As in the mini version of regular cupcakes? Which is already a mini version of cake? Honestly, where does it end with you people?
 • Rating: 4.3 / 5.0

Oscar: I didn't realize how many of Angela's opinions I agreed with...until she tried to have my knee caps shattered for sleeping with her husband.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 9 Episode 8: "The Target"

Dwight: Where are gay men's vaginas?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dwight: There are a million gorgeous guys in the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre area, and you choose the man who's a father of her child?
 • Rating: Unrated

Dwight: He and the senator are gaying each other.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dwight: It's cruel, because a woman with damaged knees can't scrub worth a damn.
 • Rating: Unrated

Trevor: Is it safe to talk?
Dwight: Well this documentary crew has been following our every move for the past nine years, but I don't see them, so I think we're good.
 • Rating: Unrated

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