Dwight: Question. Where can I put my terrarium?
Michael: What the hell is a terrarium?
Dwight: It's a fish tank for snakes and lizards.
Michael: Oh! So it's an aquarium. Um... that will not come into this place.


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The Office Season 2 Episode 3 Quotes

I'm an early bird and a night owl. So I'm wise and I have worms.

Michael

A 30-year mortgage at Michael's age essentially means that he's buying a coffin. If I were buying my coffin, I would get one with thicker walls so I couldn't hear the other dead people.

Dwight