The Office

The Office Season 2 Quotes (Page 6)

Season 2 Episode 14: "The Carpet"

Michael: Hello?
Packer: Hello, I'm looking for a gay nerd named Michael Scott.
Michael: Who is this? How did you get this number?
Packer: Your mom, you gay nerd!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jim: What do you think of Kelly?
Ryan: I don't know. It depends if you like a little junk in the... [sees camera] She's really cool.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kevin: Let me out Michael, I can't hold my breath that long.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Last week I would've given a kidney to anyone in this office. I would've reached right into my stomach and pulled it out for them, but now, no. I don't have the relationship with these people that I thought I did. I hope they ask so they can hear me say, "Uhh...no, I only give my organs to my real friends. Go get yourself a monkey kidney."
 • Rating: Unrated

Kelly: [telling Jim what to say to Ryan] Just tell him that I'm up for anything, I'm mean I'm not a slut but who knows ....
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: I swore to myself that if I ever got to walk around the room as manager, people would laugh when they saw me coming and would applaud as I walked away.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: I am a big Fear Factor fan. I'm a fan of anything Joe Rogan does actually.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: I am a victim of a hate crime. Stanley knows what I'm talking about.
Stanley: That's not what what a hate crime is.
Michael: Well I hated it. A lot!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 2 Episode 13: "The Secret"

Phyllis: Angela, who would you choose? Jim or Roy?
Angela: It's none of our business. Roy.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Why do I like Hooters? Well, I will give you two reasons. The boobs and the hot wings.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Dwight: Do you think? Or do you know?
Ryan: I think.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: They say a cluttered desk means a cluttered mind. I say an empty desk means an...
Dwight: Empty mind.
Michael: I was not going to say that.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Pam: Did you find anything good in your desk?
Jim: Uh... a coupon for a free sandwich.
Pam: Score.
Jim: It expired in August. And, my cell phone charger from two years ago.
Pam: Big day.
Jim: Big day.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: What do you like best about Pam?
Jim: Oh, I really don't wanna talk about it.
Michael: What is it, is it her legs, her boobs, or?
Jim: Um, she's easy to talk to, I guess. And, she's got a really good sense of humor.
Michael: Really?
Jim: Mmm hmm.
Michael: Never gets any of my jokes.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ryan: Creed? Did you organize the menu book?
Creed: Oh, I thought that was more on a volunteer basis.
Ryan: No... it was mandatory.
Creed: Oh, I thought it was a volunteer thing.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ryan: If I had to, I could clean out my desk in five seconds, and nobody would ever know that I'd ever been here. And I'd forget, too.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Mmm... what flavor coffee is that... updog?
Ryan: What?
Michael: I dunno, nothing, what's up with you?
Ryan: Huh?
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Hey Stanley, is that jacket made of updog?
Stanley: I'm on the phone.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim: Um, is it me or does it smell like updog in here?
Michael: What's updog?
Jim: Nothing much, what's up with you?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 2 Episode 12: "The Injury"

Pam: Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.
Jim: [on his cell phone] Dunder Mifflin, this is Jim!
 • Rating: Unrated

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