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Yes. It is true. I, Michael Scott, am signing up with an online dating service. Thousands of people have done it, and I am going to do it. I need a username, and... I have a great one. [types] 'Little Kid Lover'. That way people will know exactly where my priorities are at.

Michael

[to the kids] You ever seen a foot with four toes?

Creed

Michael: This is Creed, and he is in charge of... something... right?
Creed: That is correct.

I am actually looking forward to Take Your Daughter to Work day. I am not great with kids, but I want to get better. Because I'm getting married. So I put out a bunch of extra candy on my desk so the kids will come talk to me. Like the witch in Hansel and Gretel.

Pam

Stanley: That little girl is a child! I don't want see you sniffing around her anymore this afternoon, do you understand?
Ryan: Yes, I -
Stanley: Boy, have you lost your mind, cause I'll help you find it! Whatcha looking for, ain't nobody gonna help you out there, Jesus could come through that door, he's not going to help you, if you don't stop sniffing after my child!:
[cut to Ryan]
Ryan: Stanley yelled at me today. That was one of the most frightening experiences of my life.

Abby's my fiancée Stacey's daughter. I think she'll have a good time. I just hope she doesn't look in my computer... actually, I better go check. (runs off)

Kevin

Jim: [re: Dwight's award] It is literally the highest possible honor that a northeastern Pennsylvania-based mid-size paper company regional salesman can attain.

Michael: Actually, this would be good practice for your wedding toast.
Pam: Um, the bride doesn't... Have you ever been to a wedding?

I'm very sorry, I did not know you were wearing a hearing aid. I thought you were just speaking abnormally.

Michael

When I was in the 6th grade, I was a finalist in our school spelling bee. It was me against Raj Patel. And I mispelled, in front of the entire school, the word 'failure.'

Dwight

You are so lucky you don't have this problem Jim. What was the ninth place prize again, a loaf of bread?

Dwight

Dwight, The key to being a good public speaker is waving your arms in the air and pounding your fists on the table. A lot.

Jim
Displaying quotes 61 - 72 of 249 in total

The Office Season 2 Quotes

Happy birthday Jesus. Sorry your party's so lame.

Michael

Presents are the best way to show someone how much you care. It is like this tangible thing that you can point to and say "Hey man, I love you this many dollars-worth."

Michael