The Office

The Office Season 5 Quotes (Page 7)

Season 5 Episode 25: "Broke"

Charles: Okay, who covers Bans Pet Grooming?
Jim: Oh, they're my client.
Charles: No, they were your client. They just called and told us they're switching over to Michael Scott Paper Company.
Dwight: [sighs] Shame, Jim. I expected more.
 • Rating: Unrated

Pam: You didn't happen to bring any coffee, did you, Michael?
Michael: Milk and sugar.
Pam: Oh, awesome. You're a life saver. [drinks from cup] Wait, is this just milk and sugar?
Michael: That's what I said.
Pam: Do you drink this every day?
Michael: Every morning.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Pam: We got the van at a used car lot. We think it says "Alleluia Church of Scranton." in Korean. It was either this or an old school bus with an owl living in it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ryan: We've been making 5:00 AM deliveries for a couple weeks now. Ever since I've gotten clean there's something about fresh morning air that... just really makes me sick.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Hello! Time to make the donuts! Oh, Halpert! Whoa! Boner patrol. Arrest that man! Your donuts make me go nuts! Hey Pam.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: [honking horn] Time to make the donuts. [laughs and drives away as Ryan tries to get in the van] Come on. Whoa! No, I promise I won't do it again. Come on. De-nied!
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: It's 4:30 in the morning. Do you know where your kids are? If you are Ryan's parents or Pam's parents or my parents, you do. They're gonna be in this van. With me. Who am I? Nothing to fear. I am just a 44 year old guy with a paper route.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 5 Episode 24: "Heavy Competition"

Michael: It's like a girl says she'll make out with you, but then her boyfriend is waiting around the corner with a pee-filled balloon.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dwight: When Michael was in charge, this place was like the Roman Empire. And the Wild West. And war-torn Poland. And Poland. It was just a lot going on
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Michael: I have dibs. Do you respect dibs?
Dwight: (scoffs) I'm not a barbarian.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Pam: (watching Michael on the phone, consulting a Rolodex card) It took me a month to put all his Rolodex numbers into his Blackberry, which he now uses as a nightlight.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: (talking to Dwight on phone) I want you to listen to me, friend, and I want you to listen to me good. I'm going to come at you, and I'm going to come at you hard. I'm going to steal all of your clients, and then I'm going to kill them in front of you.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 5 Episode 23: "The Michael Scott Paper Company"

Andy: Literally every song is better a cappella. Name a song.
Dwight: Cherry Pie, Warrant.
Andy: Better a cappella!
Dwight: No! Really?
Andy: Yeah. Name another.
Dwight: Enter Sandman, Metallica.
Andy: Better a cappella.
Dwight: Rebel Yell, Billy Idol
Andy: Aw!! Way better a cappella
Dwight: Really?
Andy: Yeah.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: Who would have thought, that the thing that would save this company would be work? And pancakes? In the end, this day definitely had its ups and downs. I realize that we don't have the biggest office. Which is a surprise, because 165 square feet sounds like a lot. But, we have people with the biggest hearts. And I think for a small company that is really [flushing] Someone went to the bathroom. That is really what's important.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Pam: And I guarantee, that you will be satisfied! 'Cause your satisfaction is our guarantee! We guarantee it. We look forward to doing business with you too. Thank you Russell.
Michael: Yes!
Pam: I made a sale!
Ryan: Oh!
Michael: You did!
Pam: Oh!
Michael: Oh yeah!
Ryan: We did it!
Michael: She did it!
Michael: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
 • Rating: Unrated

Creed: These are terrible boss. You gotta make them in a circle so that they cook evenly.
Michael: These are shaped like paper.
Creed: Well I don't even want these. [Takes rectangle pancakes out of his coat]
Meredith: I'll take them for my kid.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim: There's the rundown you asked for. I may have expanded some areas that you weren't prepared for.
Charles: Great. Fax that to everyone on the distribution list.
Jim: Yeah sure. You want to look at it first?
Charles: Do I need to?
Jim: No. No, I just wanted to make sure, it was in the same format. So that distribution list is gonna be my...?
Charles: What's that?
Jim: The one I have. I'll use the one I have.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Get your free pancakes. They are delicious. They are nutritious. They are complimentary. Young sir, would you like a free pancake?
Ryan: I'm texting. I don't want to get my fingers sticky.
Michael: Ryan, enough with the texting machine. Come on. And tuck in your shirt, you're the face of this company.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Maybe the Michael Scott Paper Company was a huge mistake. I should leave. I should go, and start my own paper company. That'll show 'em.
 • Rating: Unrated

Pam: I'm just gonna sit here for a little bit longer if that's okay. The air smells so good. I don't remember it smelling so good. The chairs are so comfortable.
 • Rating: Unrated

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