The Office Season 5 Quotes
No matter how I look at this, I am in the wrong. And I have looked at this thing, like a hundred different ways. From my point of view, from their point of view... 98 others. And the bottom line, I am in the wrong. I'm the bad guy.Michael
- Permalink: No matter how I look at this, I am in the wrong. And I have look...
Ryan: I'm sorry you feel that way, Mr. Bart. Is there anything I can do to make things better?
Dwight: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Give me the phone. Give me the phone.
Dwight: That's my client.
Ryan: Exactly. This is your first complaint in ten years.
Dwight: Give me the phone.
Ryan: Things have been generally good.
Dwight: Give me the phone. Tell him Dwight Schrute wants to talk to him.
Ryan: Look, uh, Mr. Bart...
Dwight: Hi, Mr. Bart.
Ryan: At these prices with this service...
Dwight: Hey, it's Dwight here. Give me the phone.
Ryan: You're not gonna find this anywhere else.
Dwight: Dwight Schrute here. Hey, don't hang up.
Ryan: No, no, no. Sir, don't listen.
Dwight: I know times are tough right now, and I laud your thriftiness. [tries to pull phone out of Ryan's hand] Ryan!
Phyllis: Ryan, hand the phone over.
Ryan: Stop flustering me, everybody!
- Permalink: I'm sorry you feel that way, Mr. Bart. Is there anything I can d...
I'm just hiding out until all this stuff blows over. With Creed. Playing chess. At work. He's winning. I feel like I'm describing a dream I had.Jim
- Permalink: I'm just hiding out until all this stuff blows over. With Creed....
Creed: [playing chess] No. IF you do that, I'm gonna do that. IF you do that, I'm gonna do that. IF you do this, I'm gonna do that.
Jim: Well, what if I just do this?
Creed: You don't want to do that.
- Permalink: No. IF you do that, I'm gonna do that. IF you do that, I'm gonna...
Toby: Hey, Meredith. Can I talk to you privately for a second?
Meredith: About what?
Toby: Your outfit.
Meredith: What? What's wrong with my outfit?
Toby: You ... might consider pulling it down a touch. It's ... it's riding up a little high.
Meredith: A bunch of prudes. You know, Oscar's allowed to wear sandals, but I'm not allowed to wear open-toed shoes? [pulls down dress, office gasps] Is that how it goes?
Oscar: Meredith, your boob is out.
Meredith: Fine. [pulls dress up, everyone gasps again]
Angela: Meredith, too far!
Kelly: Dammit, Meredith, where are your panties?
Meredith: It's casual day. Happy?
- Permalink: Hey, Meredith. Can I talk to you privately for a second? About...
Creed: It's crazy what's going on out there today, huh?
Jim: I know. Yeah, it's... kinda -
Creed: Sometimes it's best just to stay out of it.
Jim: That's true. That's right. Yeah.
- Permalink: It's crazy what's going on out there today, huh? I know. Yeah,...
Michael: Six weeks ago, none of these people wanted to come with me. You two were the only ones with the stones to follow.
Michael: That was us, right there.
Pam: We were something else.
Ryan: What you gotta do is you gotta go down to that warehouse and you gotta crack some skulls.
Ryan: Chiklis style.
Michael: Yeah, the Commish.
Ryan: Yes, but Chiklis Shield style. Not Commish style.
Michael: Yeah, yeah. The Shield.
- Permalink: Six weeks ago, none of these people wanted to come with me. You ...
The old Michael Scott might have taken this, but not the new Michael Scott. They are in for a bitter surprise. I am not to be truffled with.Michael
- Permalink: The old Michael Scott might have taken this, but not the new Mic...
Dwight: Stanley, how do you feel about those two taking your clients?
Stanley: It's not right. I don't like it.
Dwight: He doesn't like it.
Phyllis: You don't take my clients away and give them to a secretary. [sighs] No offense, Jim. I think she's very pretty.
Dwight: Her face is okay, but-- Jesus! What --what are you doing here?
Meredith: I don't know. I saw a crowd. I thought there might be a dogfight or something--
Dwight: Get out! We need to do something. I'm thinking maybe a coup or we take Ryan hostage.
- Permalink: Stanley, how do you feel about those two taking your clients? ...
Andy: Andrew Bernard.
Dwight: Okay, what are you still doing at your desk?
Andy: What are you still doing not at your desk?
Dwight: Did you even read the memo?
Andy: All my files are now in reverse alphabetical order--
Dwight: No, you idiot. There is a code embedded in the memo. Listen, you need to round up all the salesmen, except for Ryan and Pam, and get them down to the warehouse pronto.
Andy: Oh, it is on like a prawn who yawns at dawn.
Dwight: Stop doing rhyming poetry. Just tell them, please. God, the simplest thing.
- Permalink: Andrew Bernard. Okay, what are you still doing at your desk? ...
Oscar: I'm sorry you're offended by my shoes, but I am not going to drive home to change.
Toby: I could loan you a pair of socks.
Toby: No, they're clean. I was going to wear them to volleyball practice later.
Oscar: I don't think so.
- Permalink: I'm sorry you're offended by my shoes, but I am not going to dri...
When held over heat the invisible ink will reveal that everyone should meet at the warehouse immediately. Do not ask me where I got the invisible ink. Urine. It was urine.Dwight
- Permalink: When held over heat the invisible ink will reveal that everyone ...
Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.Michael
- Permalink: Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it'...
When I was in college I used to get wicked hammered. My nickname was puke. I would chug a fifth of socos, sneak into a frat party, polish off a few people's empties, some brewskies, some Jell-O shots, do some body shots off myself, pass out, wake up the next morning, puke, rally, more soco, head to class. Probably would have gotten expelled if I had let it affect my grades, but I aced all my courses. They called me Ace. It was totally awesome. Got straight B's. They called me Buzz.Andy
- Permalink: When I was in college I used to get wicked hammered. My nickname...