The Office Season 5 Quotes
Dwight: Fresh hot ink.
Stanley: "New File System."
Dwight: Trust me, Stanley, you're going to want to read this memo very carefully.
Stanley: I am not changing the way I do my files.
Dwight: No, no. This goes for all of you. Believe me, you are going to want to heat my words.
- Permalink: Fresh hot ink. New File System. Trust me, Stanley, you're go...
Michael: [hands Ryan a soda] There you are, my friend.
Ryan: Oh, thanks, man.
Pam: Thanks, Michael.
- Permalink: There you are, my friend. Oh, thanks, man. Pamela. Thanks,...
Well, I was in the Seminary for a year and dropped out 'cause I wanted to have sex with this girl, Cathy. Followed her to Scranton. Took the first job I could find in H.R. Later she divorced me. So no, I wouldn't say I have a passion for H.R.Toby
- Permalink: Well, I was in the Seminary for a year and dropped out 'cause I ...
Angela: The man is wearing sandals. I don't need to see Oscar's toes at work. Gross! I mean he looks like he just got off the boat.
Toby: Can't you just not look at his feet?
Angela: Excuse me? Oh. You're so educated, aren't you Toby? So trained to deal with a hysterical woman. I don't want to look at his feet. Do your job!
- Permalink: The man is wearing sandals. I don't need to see Oscar's toes at ...
Pam: [laughs] Boscov's at the Steamtown Mall?
Phyllis: It sure looked good on the mannequin.
Pam: Well, you have good taste.
Phyllis: Well, thanks. I sure wish I had more time to talk to my clients, though.
Phyllis: Isn't that what you said to a bunch of my clients when you were stealing them? That I didn't have enough time for them?
Pam: Oh, I, um...
Phyllis: Close your mouth, sweetie. You look like a trout.
- Permalink: Boscov's at the Steamtown Mall? It sure looked good on the man...
[to Ryan] Don't fall in love with me, kid.Meredith
- Permalink: Don't fall in love with me, kid.
Michael: Oscar, what were you going to say?
Oscar: Nothing. I didn't say anything.
Michael: All right.
Erin: Do I still have a job here?
Michael: Not important. Okay, alright. Yes. Yes, you have a job. Frankly, you have a job because Ryan and Pam are starting with us as salesmen.
Dwight: Wait, what?
Stanley: How is that going to work?
Michael: It's going to work very smoothly, because Pam and Ryan are bringing over a ton of clients from Michael Scott Paper Company and--
Phyllis: You mean the clients you stole from us.
Dwight: Yeah, aren't we getting those clients back?
Michael: No, you lost those clients.
Andy: I call foul, sir.
- Permalink: Oscar, what were you going to say? Nothing. I didn't say anyth...
When I needed salespeople for my new paper company, everyone here turned their back on me. Am I going to ask them to beg for forgiveness? No. Am I going to ask for big, crying apology? No. Am I going to ask them to slit their wrists for me? No. I just want a tiny, microscopic version of that.Michael
- Permalink: When I needed salespeople for my new paper company, everyone her...
Michael: If there is something that you would like to say as a group, then by all means, you may say it to me right now.
Angela: People are dressed inappropriately.
Michael: Take it up with Toby. What I want you to do, is I want you to look inward. And I want you to reflect. And I want you to say something different.
Jim: Can you give us a hint?
- Permalink: If there is something that you would like to say as a group, the...
Michael: Someone is returning! He started his own company, and now he's back. Who could it be? I'll give you a hint. He is a man. A man you have missed with all your heart. A man who has ruined all other men for you. Who is it?
Ryan: [whispering] Who is it?
Pam: [whispering] Who is it?
Michael: [whispering] It's Michael Scott. [applause; Michael jumps through sign] Hold it up. Conference room, five minutes.
- Permalink: Someone is returning! He started his own company, and now he's b...
At least once a year, I like to bring in some of my Kevin's Famous Chili. The trick is to undercook the onions. Everybody is going to get to know each other in the pot. I'm serious about this stuff. I'm up the night before pressing garlic and dicing whole tomatoes. I toast my own Ancho chilies. It's a recipe passed down from Malones for generations. It's probably the thing I do best.Kevin
- Permalink: At least once a year, I like to bring in some of my Kevin's Famo...
Creed: I want to set you up with my daughter.
Jim: Oh, I'm engaged to Pam.
Creed: I thought you were gay.
Jim: Then why would you want to set me up with your daughter?
Creed: I don't know.
- Permalink: I want to set you up with my daughter. Oh, I'm engaged to Pam....
Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.Michael
- Permalink: Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it'...
When I was in college I used to get wicked hammered. My nickname was puke. I would chug a fifth of socos, sneak into a frat party, polish off a few people's empties, some brewskies, some Jell-O shots, do some body shots off myself, pass out, wake up the next morning, puke, rally, more soco, head to class. Probably would have gotten expelled if I had let it affect my grades, but I aced all my courses. They called me Ace. It was totally awesome. Got straight B's. They called me Buzz.Andy
- Permalink: When I was in college I used to get wicked hammered. My nickname...