The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
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It's true, it would be a cold day in Hell when I was popular.

Lisa

The power of Chrysler compels you!

Homer

The bed is lifting me, the elevator at work can't even do that.

Homer

I was sleeping in the dryer and got caught in your sheets.

Grandpa

These eye clamps are the only way I can tolerate today's tv.

Moe

You went to Hell and came back a winner like Jesus

Homer

It's in Hell, the Inferno, Perdition, Arizona without the golf

Homer

It's like they don't care if you make money, as long as they make money. What kind of corporation does that?

Marge

Homer, if I ever seem that senile, get a gun and...what are you doing with that gun?!

Grandpa

Well family, we should be proud. We took on corporate America and broke even.

Homer

Bart: What's your soda refill policy?
Marge: All you can drink, if you buy a jumbo cup.
Homer: Careful Marge, that's how I bankrupted a Pizza Hut.

Mom, it's trash talk. You know how guys say mean things to their friends the way women say nice things to their enemies?

Lisa
Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 3437 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!