Marge, you're my wife of ten years and I love you, but I must observe the teachings of this man I just met tonight. Now the first thing I have to do is make amends with the bathroom scale.

Homer

I have so many questions for you. First of all, is this floor reinforced?

Homer

Bart: Thinking back, I'm kinda surprised mom and dad let a crazy man spend all night in my bedroom.
Homer: Simpler times.

I didn't write it. I bought it from a salesman who was selling it to half the towns in America. I didn't think you'd find out because I never thought any of us would go anywhere.

Moleman

Lenny: No, mine was rubber mats in the decontamination showers, also water in the decontamination showers.
Burns: Never!

For a man who likes electric cars, he sure burns a lot of rocket fuel.

Lisa

Between your genius and my nothing we make a great team, come on give me a hug!

Homer

Fine, we'll both go, and if anyone asks you something you don't understand, just say protons.

Homer

Squaky, until I met you, I never thought I could love something bald.

Bart

Bart: You did it Homer, you saved me from the bullies, you're the coolest kid I've ever met.
Milhouse: What about me?
Bart: You're in the top hundred.
Milhouse: Booyah!
Bart: Now you're not.

Ok Marge we can go to the circus, maybe I can finally find out why a man would think a stool is a proper defense against a lion.

Homer

I don't have time for childish games. If I don't do my job, atoms go boom!

Homer

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

You know, you remind me of a poem I can't remember, and a song that may never have existed, and a place I'm not sure I've ever been to.

Grampa