The Simpsons

The Simpsons Quotes (Page 2)

Season 24 Episode 15: "Black Eyed, Please"

Lisa: Why does someone become a bully?
Jimbo: Neglect.
Dolph: Abuse.
Kearney: I'm a Cubs fan.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Edna: I know you feel guilty about coldcocking Homer.
Ned: Please don't use that word in bed.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ned: I want you to punch me in the eye. If you do, then we're even according to Exodus, Leviticus, and Matthew.
Homer: You went and hired a law firm, eh. That's pretty aggressive.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Ned: Come on Homer, I'm insisting on a fisting.
Smithers: What's this about a fisting?
 • Rating: 4.6 / 5.0

Ned: Homer, I can't believe you're partaking with my parents.
Homer: Yeah, it's medicinal; we had a pain in our neck!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 24 Episode 14: "Gorgeous Grampa "

Grampa: I don't ride side-saddle. I'm as straight as a submarine.
 • Rating: Unrated

Burns: Hello, Smithers. Fancy seeing you in casual encounter park.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Oh, my gay dad is gay for gays.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Writing is for bathroom walls and acting is for getting out of DUIs.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 24 Episode 13: "Hardly Kirk-ing"

Homer: "Spot the hidden objects." Boy, you're pretty pushy for a book I just met.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Honey, this sounds like a noble experiment, but like Prohibition, it will end in a hail of bullets.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: That's the way people talk about Ralph. Ralph, who's favorite color is peanut butter.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Bart: Dad, what are you watching?
Homer: I think it's a Terrence Malick movie.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Season 24 Episode 12: "Love Is a Many Splintered Thing"

GPS: Switching to male voice, so you will obey.
Homer: Finally, a supervisor!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mary(singing): There ain't not never no place none better than home. Count the negatives, it all works out.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: You got star quality, like the Hulk in movies other than The Hulk.
 • Rating: Unrated

Milhouse: I can't wait to use your moves on Lisa.
Lisa: Eww. On every level, eww.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: I'll be more attentive to your needs on the seesaw. I'll stay down there as long as you want.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 24 Episode 11: "Changing of the Guardian"

Homer: Like all childless couples they troll the beaches waiting for the egg-layers to wander off from their young.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: Worry-wart Marge. You don't look a Trojan horse in the mouth.
 • Rating: Unrated

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