Lincoln, Lincoln. I've been thinkin'. What the hell have you've been drinkin'? Is it water? Is it wine? Oh, my gosh. It's turpentine!

Bart & Lisa

Lisa's Brain: Poor predictable Bart. Always takes 'rock'.
Bart's Brain: Good ol' 'rock'. Nuthin' beats that!
Bart: Rock!
Lisa: Paper.
Bart: D'oh!

Homer: Marge, where's that... metal... dealy... you use to... dig... food?
Marge: You mean a spoon?
Homer: Yeah yeah yeah!

Puppets: Duff beer for me, Duff beer for you, I'll have a Duff, you have one too! Duff beer for me, Duff beer for you, I'll have a Duff, you have one too!
Bart: I want to get off.
Selma: No, you can't get off. We have five more continents to visit.

Ned Flanders: We're done for, we're done-diddly done for, we're done-diddly-doodily, done diddly-doodily, done diddly-doodly, done diddly-doodily!
Homer: Flanders! Snap out of it!

It's so diverse. I've died and gone to a PBS kid's show.

Lisa

I like to cry at the ocean, because only there do my tears seem small.

</i> Nelson

Dear Neighbor, you are my brother. I love you, and yet I feel a great sadness in my bosom.
Neighbor's forever,
Ned Flanders

</i> Ned

We're putting that bitch on ice!

Apu

Just squeeze your rage into a bitter little ball and release it at an approprate time. Like that day I hit the referee with a whiskey bottle. Remember that, when daddy hit the referee?

Homer

Homer: There's a $10,000 bill in it for you.
Barney: Oh yeah? Which president's on it?
Homer: Uh, all of them. They're having a party. Jimmy Carter's passed out on the couch.

(Homer wants to keep Hans Moleman as a replacement for Bart.)
Homer: (Kisses Moleman's head.) It's like kissing a peanut.
Marge: Homer, I want that thing out of my house.

The Simpsons Quotes

Lincoln, Lincoln. I've been thinkin'. What the hell have you've been drinkin'? Is it water? Is it wine? Oh, my gosh. It's turpentine!

Bart & Lisa

Lisa's Brain: Poor predictable Bart. Always takes 'rock'.
Bart's Brain: Good ol' 'rock'. Nuthin' beats that!
Bart: Rock!
Lisa: Paper.
Bart: D'oh!