The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
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Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

I want his fame and fortune so much. Why must the lords of rock be so cruel?

Homer

You know, you remind me of a poem I can't remember, and a song that may never have existed, and a place I'm not sure I've ever been to.

Grampa

Oh no, King Toots is closed. Dad, you're going to have to take me to the big Fox music store.

Lisa

(singing) God said to Noah, there's gonna be a floody-floody. Rain came down, it started to get muddy, muddy. Get those animals, out of the arky-arky.

Flanders Family

Anya: (in a girls voice) "Dear Lisa, as write this, I am very sad. Our president has been overthrown...(man's voice) and replaced by the benevolent General Krull! All hail Krull, and his glorious new regime! Sincerely, little girl."
Lisa: (groans)

Oh Marge, you came and you found me a turkey on my vacation away from worky.

Homer

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.

(Homer tries to retrieve the angry letter that Bart accidentally put in the mail.)
Homer: Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
P.O. Worker: Okay, Mr. Burns. What's your first name?
Homer: I...don't know.

(to Marge) You promised Lisa to help her with her costume. You made her cry. Then I cried. Then Maggie laughed...she's such a little trooper!

Homer

Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and um Oh, wait a minute! Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one, you wanna drink another woman!

Homer
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 3437 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!