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Marge: Homer, you do remember your promise to the children?
Homer: Sure do. When you're eighteen, you're out the door!

Mr. Black: Now I must tell you kids Krusty has laryngitis and a bad back so he won't be saying anything or doing anything.
Milhouse: Krusty looks fat.
Lisa: He's really having trouble keeping his balance.
Ralph: He's still funny, but not ha-ha funny.

Bart: So I won't be able to go to camp?
Homer: Now Bart, we made this deal because I thought it would help you get good grades, and you didn't. But why should you pay for my mistakes?

Bart: Well Dad, here's my report card. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.
Homer: A+!? You don't think much of me do you, boy?
Bart: No, sir.
Homer: You know a D turns into a B so easily. You just got greedy.

(writing home) Dear Mom and Dad, I no longer fear hell, because I've been to Kamp Krusty.


Ladies and Gentlemen, I have been to Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan, and I can say without hyperbole that this is a million times worse than all of them put together. A group of school-aged Spartacuses have taken the camp by force. Three counsellors are missing, and presumed scared.

</i> Kent Brockman

Mr. Black: I'll take any questions you might have... you? And then uum.... one more.
Milhouse: Can we call you Uncle Blackie?
Mr. Black: No.. last question...

Bart: Hey... hands off my pickle!
Homer: I don't see your name on it, boy!
Bart: No, but--(Licks it)
Homer: Oh yeah? (Dunks in his milk) Checkmate!
Bart: Always thinking two moves ahead.

Marge: Lisa, watch out for poison ivy. Remember, leaves of three, let it be.
Homer: Leaves of four, eat some more! (Laughs)

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