The Simpsons

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Don't ask me! I'm just a girl! Hee hee hee! Hee hee hee!

Malibu Stacy Doll

Do we sell... French... fries?

Grampa

Grampa: Why are you people avoiding me? Does my withered face remind you of the grim specter of Death?
Homer: Yes, but there's more. Dad, I love you, but...you're a weird, sore-headed old crank and nobody likes you!

Lisa: Don't any of you notice something wrong with what Malibu Stacy says?
Girl: There's something wrong with what my Malibu Stacy says... (pulls string)
Malibu Stacy Doll: My spidey-sense is tingling - anyone call for a web slinger?

Marge: Now let's talk this over a nice big bowl of strawberry ice cream.
(Lisa pulls the doll's string)
Malibu Stacy Doll: Now let's talk this over with a nice big bowl of strawberry ice cream!
Marge: Hmmmm....

Hello...Smithers. You're quite good...at turning me on

</i> Mr. Burns

Lisa: It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you.
Grampa: It's rotten being old. No one listens to you.
Homer: I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are!

Lisa: Mom! We could go on the factory tour and I could complain in person!
Marge: Honey, you're not going to throw red paint at the executives, are you? The Keebler people were very upset.

Lisa: It's not funny, Bart. Millions of girls will grow up thinking that this is the right way to act; that they can never be more than vacuous ninnies whose only goal is to look pretty, land a rich husband, and spend all day on the phone with their equally vacuous friends talking about how damn terrific it is to look pretty and have a rich husband!
Bart: Just what I was going to say.

Looking at that tired old freak has made me realize I'm no spring chicken myself. I can feel death's clammy hand on my shoulder. Wait, that's my hand.

Grampa

Good night. Oh, and the President was arrested for murder. More on that tomorrow night. Or you could turn to another channel oh, do not turn to another channel.

Kent Brockman

Without further ado, I give you the man who puts young people behind bars, where they belong, TV's 'Matlock'.

Dr. Hibbert
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The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 14 Quotes

Lisa: You know, if we get through to just that one little girl, it'll all be worth it!
Stacy Lavelle: Yes. Particularly if that little girl happens to pay $46,000 for that doll.
Lisa: What?
Stacy Lavelle: Oh, nothing.

(At the toy store)
Lisa: I'm warning you, Mom, I may get a little crazy.
Marge: I understand. When I was your age--
Lisa: (attacking another girl) Hey, horseface, get your ugly paws off that summer fun set!

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