Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX

Slow down! Watch out for that car. Your hands should be at 10 and 2, not 3 and nothing!


Lenny: The flames are heading straight for our flammable district!
Carl: That's where our mom works.

Darcy: You look kind of young.
Bart: Uh, yeah, I have that disease that makes you look like an old man, but they gave me medicine for it and I took too much.

Minister: So how many brides are you marrying today, Mr. Simpson?
Bart: Just one.
Minister: (scoffs) What are you, gay?

Bart: You know, I thought Darcy and I would be like a real married couple. Instead, we just ended up fighting all the time.
Homer: Yeah, how 'bout that?

I need a ride. I think I'm in Chinatown. (a mouse run in the street) No, not our Chinatown.


Darcy: Wow, you really are 10. I thought you were just stupid.
Bart: I'm 10 and stupid!

Bart: I want a license.
Mayor Quimby: To kill?
Bart: No, to drive!

(calling Bart) Bart! This is a matter of life and death! What is the difference between 'ketchup' and 'catsup'? (Bart throws the cell phone away.) They're gonna cut my head off!

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