Lenny: The flames are heading straight for our flammable district!
Carl: That's where our mom works.

Slow down! Watch out for that car. Your hands should be at 10 and 2, not 3 and nothing!

Lisa

Darcy: You look kind of young.
Bart: Uh, yeah, I have that disease that makes you look like an old man, but they gave me medicine for it and I took too much.

Minister: So how many brides are you marrying today, Mr. Simpson?
Bart: Just one.
Minister: (scoffs) What are you, gay?

Bart: I want a license.
Mayor Quimby: To kill?
Bart: No, to drive!

Bart: You know, I thought Darcy and I would be like a real married couple. Instead, we just ended up fighting all the time.
Homer: Yeah, how 'bout that?

I need a ride. I think I'm in Chinatown. (a mouse run in the street) No, not our Chinatown.

Homer

Bart, take these volleyballs, fill them up, and throw them over the prison wall to create chaos and confusion.

Homer

(calling Bart) Bart! This is a matter of life and death! What is the difference between 'ketchup' and 'catsup'? (Bart throws the cell phone away.) They're gonna cut my head off!

Homer

(Smithers is on fire, while Mr. Burns is washing his car.)
Smithers: Sir, help me!
Mr. Burns: Why should I? You're not helping me.
Smithers: But sir, I'm flaming!
(Mr. Burns looks at the camera with an odd expression)

Homer: Son, one day you're going to be a great father.
Bart: Aww, and someday you'll be one too.
Homer: Thanks boy, heh heh heh heh heh.

Darcy: I'm very religious that way.
Bart: How religious can you be if you're pregnant.
(Darcy slaps Bart)
Bart: Good answer.

The Simpsons Season 18 Episode 12 Quotes

Marge: Bart, you're too young to get married! You still ask me to check the closet for the boogeyman!
Bart: Well, maybe I've found somebody else to do it for me!

(Smithers is on fire, while Mr. Burns is washing his car.)
Smithers: Sir, help me!
Mr. Burns: Why should I? You're not helping me.
Smithers: But sir, I'm flaming!
(Mr. Burns looks at the camera with an odd expression)