The Simpsons

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The simpsons
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Ahem. This is a videotape for my daughter Maggie. Hi, Maggie! I'm speaking to you from beyond the grave. Woooooooo! Hee hee hee, hope that didn't scare you. Well, Maggie, you're grown-up now, and unless you taped over this, you're probably wondering what kind of man your father was. He was a simple man, a kind man, a gentle man who loved his children and- (Phone rings) D'oh! Hello! Yeah, he's here, who is this? (Scratches butt) Bart's friend Milhouse? Bart! Get your butt down here!

Homer

Homer: If I said `no' the first time, what makes you think I'm going to say `yes' the second time?
Lisa: Nothing, but you may say `yes' the ninety-ninth time.
Homer: Oh? Try me.
Lisa: Please, Dad.
Homer: No.
Lisa: Please, Dad.
Homer: No.
Lisa: Please, Dad.
Homer: No.
Lisa: Please, Dad.
Homer: No.
Lisa: Please, Dad.
Homer: No.
Lisa: Please, Dad.
Homer: Oh, okay, okay.

(Imitating Lisa) Try something new, Homer! What'll it hurt you, Homer? (Regular voice) I never heard of a poison pork chop!

</i> Homer

Dr. Hibbert: Now, a little death anxiety is normal. You can expect to go through five stages. The first is denial.
Homer: No way! Because I'm not dying!
Dr. Hibbert: The second is anger.
Homer: Why you little!
Dr. Hibbert: After that comes fear.
Homer: What's after fear? What's after fear?
Dr. Hibbert: Bargaining.
Homer: Doc, you gotta get me out of this! I'll make it worth your while!
Dr. Hibbert: Finally, acceptance.
Homer: Well, we all gotta go sometime.
Dr. Hibbert: Mr. Simpson, your progress astounds me.

Dr. Hibbert: Um, your wife agreed that I should break this to you.
Homer: No need, Doc. I can read Marge like a book. (Looks at Marge, who is very glum.)
Marge: Hmm.
Homer: Ooh, it's good news, isn't it?

(Homer looks over the menu.)
Homer: There's got to be something I haven't tried. Huh? Hey, hey, what's this? Fugu!
Akira: (Gasps.) It is a blowfish, sir. But I should warn you that one-
Homer: Come on, pal. Fugu me!

(While Marge appears to be tossing a salad Homer watches the microwave.)
Homer: Is it done yet? Is it done yet?
Marge: Your meatloaf will be ready in eight seconds, Homer.
Homer: D'oh! Isn't there anything faster than a microwave?
(Homer watches dinner cook)
Homer: Four three two one Bing! We have meatloaf!

This is our karaoke bar. Now it is empty but soon it will be hopping with drunken, Japanese business men.

Japanese waitress

Toshiro: Master, you are needed in the kitchen.
Master Chef: I said cover for me, damn it!
Toshiro: But, Master, we need your skilled hands.
Master Chef: My skilled hands are busy! You do it!

Homer: Okay, okay, where do want to go?
Lisa: Anywhere but hamburgers, pizza, or fried chicken!
Homer: Fine! We'll go to Mars!

Marge: Tomorrow night, it might be nice to go out for dinner.
Homer: Tomorrow night? Friday? Pork chop night? Marge! We haven't missed pork chop night since the great pig scare in '87!

Homer: What are you getting at?
Lisa: Well, you're always trying to teach me to be open-minded, try new things, live life to the
Homer: What are you talking about? Nobody's trying to teach you that!

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 20 in total

The Simpsons Season 2 Episode 11 Quotes

(Looking at a diagram of the blowfish) Poison poison tasty fish!

Toshiro

Homer: I just want you to know that I love you, Dad.
Grampa: You do?
Homer: Uh-huh.
Grampa: Oh, son, I love you too. Hey, how about a hug?
(Homer and Abe hug)
Homer: Dad!
Grampa: Sonny boy!
Homer: Papa!
Grampa: Junior!
Homer: My old man.
(Homer crosses "Make peace with Dad" on his list.)