The Simpsons Season 3 Episode 9: "Saturdays of Thunder" Quotes
Dad, I don't know how to say this. I don't want to drive your car. It's slow, it's ugly; it handles like a shopping cart.Bart
Martin: What is the matter with you?
Bart: It's my dad. Lying there on the couch, drinking a beer, staring at the TV... I've never seen him like that.
Oh, I don't know if I should do that. My dad and I build our car together, and if I drove somebody else's it'd kill him! On the other hand, I'll do it!Bart
Thank you, Bill Cosby. You've saved The Simpsons!Homer
Homer: What's the quickest, cheapest, easiest way to do something with you?
Lisa: Uh, take us to the video store?
Homer: Anything for my little girl.
Nelson: Hey, Simpson, where's your loser-mobile!
Homer: Loser mobilehehehewait a minute!
Bart: Uh, It's over there Nelson.
Nelson: Whoa, talk about your pieces of crap!
Homer: Goodbye son!
Milhouse: Hey, Bart, I think they're finally hauling your dad away!
Bart: Maybe it's for the best.
Marge: Question 2: "Who is your son's hero?"
Homer: Steve McQueen.
Marge: That's your hero! "Name another dad you talk to about parenting."
Marge: "What are your son's hobbies?"
Homer: Well, he's always chewing on the phone cord.
Marge: He hasn't done that since he was two!
Homer: Then he has no hobbies!
Marge: Question 1: Name one of your child's friends.
Homer: Lets see uh, Bart's friends, well there's the fat kid with the thing, uh, the little wiener who's always got his hands in his pockets!
Marge: They want a name, Homer, not a vague description!
Marge: Hank? Hank who?
Marge: Homer, you made that up.
Homer: Oh my god, I don't know jack about my boy! I'm a bad father!
Selma: You're also fat.
Homer: I'm also fat!
Troy McClure: I'm actor Troy McClure. You may remember me
from such TV series as: Buck Henderson: Union Buster and Troy & Company's Summertime Smile Factory.
Homer: Patty! Selma! What a pleasant surprise!
Patty: Whaddya know, he's wearing pants!
Selma: I owe you a lunch!