The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Quotes
Oh, I love going to aquatic parks. Sure they have less rides than amusement parks, less fish than the aquariums, but the parking is ample.
Homer
Simpson, step away from the orphan, do not give him any more love. I repeat, do not give him any more love.
Chief Wiggum
Apu: Lisa, how do you like sharing a bathroom with two brothers?
Lisa: Two brothers? Bart, who is this kid?
Bart: He's an orphan, he's like Annie except he's a dude and he hates tomorrow.
Charlie: I hate it so much.
Bart: How did you escape the island of misfit boys?
Charlie: Shimmied down a drain pipe.
Bart: You like to shimmy? I like to shimmy. Where do you see yourself in twenty years?
Charlie: One-armed drummer in a prison rock band.
Bart: Nice. Favorite Beatle?
Charlie: Dung.
Charlie: Wake up.
Bart: I'm Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?
Charlie: I'm your new brother.
Bart: Are you from the orphanage or do I really not undersand how babies are born?
Jimbo: No matter how dead their relationship seems, all parents eventually commit the heinous acting of love.
Kearney: Mine do it once a year on the magical day when the prison and the insane asylum have their annual mixer.
Bart: Hope you saved room for passion fruit suflee cremon glaze for two.. and one for mom.
Homer: There come's a time in every marriage when it comes down to this, do we eat dessert or make love?
Homer: Girls are easy. Girls love daddy. Girls make birthday cards with glitter on them. Girls can marry a hockey player and get me free tickets to hockey games. Girls don't steal my lines. And girls never ask me how their body works because I have no idea.
Bart: You never told me how my body works.
Homer: Point and shoot.
Bart: Dad, I want a baby brother.
Homer: Haha. Son, I love you kids, but I'm only going to the hospital one more time in my life, and I ain't coming out.
Bart: Oh my god, I want a brother.
Lisa: You can have mine, but he's kind of an idiot.
Marge: A branch must have knocked out the power lines.
Bart: That's fine, I'll see what's on TV.
Marge: That runs on electricity, also.
Bart: Alright, I'll watch a DVD, there's no way that runs on electricity.... Really, does Obama know about this?
Homer: See, Lisa, looks like tomorrow I'll be shoveling ten feet of global warming.
Lisa: Global warming can cause weather at both extremes, hot and cold.
Homer: I see, so you're saying warming makes it colder. Well aren't you the queen of crazy land. Everything the's opposite of everything.
