The Simpsons

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The simpsons
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Speaking of necks, my girlfriend is a pain in mine. She crashed her car into mine and said, "Look, honey, we have a hybrid."

Krusty

(to Lisa) I'm gonna call you the goy wonder . . . 'cause I don't remember your name.

Krusty

(At an auction for a "Kissing Lincolns Penny")
Homer: Five dollars!
Mr. Burns: Five hundred.
Homer: Five dollars, cash.
Host: Sir, the promise of cash is not an endorsement. The current bid is $500. Going once, going twice--
Bart: Dad!
Homer: Five hundred-one!
Mr. Burns: Ten million.
Homer: Objection, Your Honor!

We now come to our final award, "Entertainer of the Year." An award so prestigious, that it recently won the "Award of the Year Award" at the 2007 Awardy Awards.

Award Presenter

Applause is an addiction, like heroin or checking your e-mail.

Sideshow Mel

(about the "kissing Lincolns" penny) The one on the left looks into it, but the one on the right is just experimenting.

Homer

Ron Robinowitz: Krusty, I've been your agent for 37 years and I'm telling you, watch out for this Lisa Simpson character. She's got a taste for Lady Laughter, and she'll step right over a certain clown to get it.
Krusty the Clown: Which one? Chuckles? Professor Nitwit?
Ron Robinowitz: (facepalm) No, you!
Krusty the Clown: No Yu?! The Chinese Clown?
Ron Robinowitz: (laughs) That's actually really funny! But seriously, you're in big trouble here.

(Bart and Homer are looking though a large pile of coins for the "Kissing Lincolns Penny")
Bart: One of these has got to be that smooching Lincoln penny. Nope. Nope. Dime. Button. Pepperoni slice.
Homer: (grabbing pepperoni slice) Wait! This is a classic 1978 Pizza Hut! (eats it) Mmm...terrible.

Homer: Bart's having girl troubles. You'd better go talk to him.
Marge: It's clown troubles, that's your responsibility!
Homer: I thought I was in charge of bedtime stories and pets dying!
Marge: Yeah, well we're adding clowns.
Homer: Oh, fine! But you just bought yourself ear piercing and strange new feelings!

(After Krusty announces that he's searching for a new Krusketeer)
Bart: I am so gonna try out for that!
Milhouse: Me too! But I hope you get it.
Bart: No, I hope you get it.
Milhouse: Well, I really hope you get it.
Bart: Yeah, I hope I get it too. Later!
(Bart leaves)
Milhouse: (in awe) For a second there, he hoped I got it.

A great man once observed, "90 percent of success is showing up on time." Sorry I'm four hours late.

Krusty

Lisa's got school, career, posture . . . why'd she have to steal Krusty from me?

Bart
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 194 in total

The Simpsons Season 19 Quotes

Why do I need another penny? I have billions. Still, if I don't take it, that hoodlum over there might.

Mr. Burns

Homer: One small coffee, please. And a bunch of those placemats with the mazes on them.
Pimple-Faced Kid: They're all the same maze.
Homer: Somebody's gotta do 'em.

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