The Simpsons

The Simpsons Season 19 Quotes (Page 2)

Season 19 Episode 19: "Mona Leaves-a"

Carl: Yeah, you should always make peace with your loved ones.
Lenny: I think I'll give my ma a call right now. (dials cell phone) Hey Mom, I just wanted you to know that you mean... Yeah, he's here... (looks disappointed, gives phone to Carl)
Carl: Hey, Mrs. L! Those butter cookies you sent, were tasty. And the almond ones, oh! (pause) Aw, I wish I was your son, too. All right, I'm gonna pass you back... Okay, okay, I'll tell him. (closes cell phone) Uh, Moe. Lenny's mom says, she loves you.
(Lenny makes disgusted noise)
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: (recording a voice for his stuffed hippo) Bart is awesome.
Stuffed Hippo: Bart is awesome.
Bart: This guy could put Milhouse out of business!
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: Homer, look what I found in your mother's things.
(Marge gives Homer a DVD)
Homer: A donut from the future?
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: (To Bart) Say something comforting.
Bart: Okay, comforting, comforting. Uh, Dad? Whenever I would hang out with Grandma she would always ask me about you and I'd say, "You suck." And she would say, "You don't suck that bad."
Homer: She said I didn't suck?
Bart: That bad.
Homer: That bad. Wow.
Bart: Yeah.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mona: For Marge, I leave this handbag, made of nature's finest material, hemp.
Marge: (Sniffs bag) Smells like concerts!
 • Rating: Unrated

(Homer walks into a toy aisle filled with stuffed recording hippos)
Stuffed Hippo #1: (With Bart's voice) Homer has a lard butt!
Homer: What did you say?
Stuffed Hippo #2: (With Bart's voice) Homer has booger breath!
Homer: It's a medical condition!
Stuffed Hippo #3: (With Bart's voice) Homer is a big jerk!
Homer: Who told you these things about me?!
Stuffed Hippo #4: (With Bart's voice) Dung Muncher!
Stuffed Hippo #5: (With Bart's voice) Stink Brain!
Stuffed Hippo #6: (With Bart's voice) Cheese Wang!
Stuffed Hippo #7: (With Bart's voice) Captain Crud!
Homer: (Angrily) I don't want to get mad, but I will!
(Bart's insulting recordings on the stuffed hippos begin to overlap)
Homer: Oh, that's it!
(Marge, Lisa, and Maggie are at the register counter)
Lisa: Uh, Mom, we've got a Code Four!
(Homer is seen ripping, tearing, and biting apart the still insulting hippos as Bart is laughing uproariously. Homer then grabs a stuffed unicorn and uses its horn to jab the hippos to stop the recordings)
Homer: It didn't have to go down like this!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 19 Episode 18: "Any Given Sundance"

(After seeing Nelson's documentary)
Man: Hey, Nelson! Say something poor!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marge: Thank God they're not jeering at us anymore.
Homer: I know. (pause) Kinda miss it.
Bart: I know! We'll be in another movie. And this time we'll act really bad!
Marge: No more Simpsons movies! One was plenty.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Narration during Nelson's documentary)
Nelson: I like to cry at the ocean, because only there do my tears seem small.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Superintendent Chalmers: (about the Springfield Creative Arts School)The whole school is made up of modeling clay! Every afternoon, they re-shape it just to get my goat!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jim Jarmusch: I can eat a raw onion without crying.
Homer: Oh yeah? Prove it, Hollywood!
(Jim Jarmusch eats an onion and tears up)
Homer: Hey, you're crying!
Jim Jarmusch: Yes, but I'm crying about something else.
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: Call me old-fashioned, but I usually don't like movies that humiliate our family in front of the world.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: I never wanted to be famous for being mean. I wanted to be famous for catching Santa Claus.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lisa: No toupees.
Homer: Whaaat, I'm going for the Shia LaBeouf thing. Not quite a nerd, not quite a hunk. Shia LaBeouf!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Principal Skinner: (to Lisa) Seymour Skinner never puts all his eggs in one basket. That's why they call me "Two Basket Skinner." (pause) What? They do.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 19 Episode 17: "Apocalypse Cow"

Bart: Mom, they're gonna kill Lou and make him into food and fringe vests for gay cowboys!
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: Sorry, Lise. I can't be a vegetarian. I love the taste of death.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Bart: (to Mary) I didn't know Cletus was your dad!
Cletus: She had a regular city birth, in a gas station.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Homer is in the slaughterhouse.)
Female PA voice: You are now entering the Killing Zone.
Homer: Hey, that sounds like Tress MacNeille!
 • Rating: Unrated

(Bart introduces himself to Mary.)
Bart: I'm Bart. This is my calf, Lulubelle.
Mary: Uh, you know that's a boy, right?
Bart: Oh, I thought she was peein' out of her nipple.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Are we missing your favorite "The Simpsons" quote? Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!