The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 19 Quotes
Lisa: I really identified with the girls in Ghost World. They made me feel like I wasn't so alone.
Dan Clowes: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Do you know anyone at Batman? 'Cause I really want to draw Batman, I'm awesome at utility belts. (points to a picture of a utility belt.)
Dan Clowes: Check these out. This is where the Batman keeps his money in case he has to take the bus.
Lisa: Mm-hmm.
(Comic Book Guy bursts into Coolsville.)
Comic Book Guy: Attention, comic book aficionados! (Points at Milo) This man is not one of us. (Comic Book Guy points at Strawberry, crowd gasps.) He has a girlfriend!
Strawberry: My name is Strawberry. My purse is a lunch box.
(Homer explaining his surgery to Bart and Lisa)
Homer: Kids, daddy underwent a special procedure so he can be more attractive to your mother.
Bart: You had your hot dog plumped?
Homer: No! I had my stomach stapled!
Kirk: Uh, attention, everyone. Uh, Luann and I have some big news.
Bart: Is it that you're brother and sister? Because you really look a lot alike.
Kirk: No.
Bart: Half-brother and half-sister?
Kirk: No!
Bart: Siamese twins who've been surgically separated?
Luann: No! We're getting remarried.
Marge, give me a break! I don't know the colors of peoples' eyes! I just judge them on the color of their skin.
Homer
Oh, my God! I've become the world's oldest baby. Men don't get their moo-moo from a baa-baa. They get their moo-moo from a big-boy cup!
</i> Milhouse
(Homer is searching for his wedding album.)
Homer: Where is it? I gotta find out what color Marge's eyes are.
Homer: Ah! Cha-ching!
(He goes to open the album only to find it has a combination lock, and is shut tight.)
Homer: Ohh! Oh, Marge darling... What's the combination to our wedding album?
Marge: Our anniversary.
Homer: (Pauses) D'oh!
(Milhouse's parents are lost at sea.)
Homer: Here Milhouse, why don't you cheer up with a glass of Ocean Spray. (catches himself) Oh, boy. Forget that. How about some Cap'n Crunch? (catches himself) Seven Seas Italian Dressing? Oh, no, no, no. Uhh... Chicken of the Sea tuna? Ahh. Billy Ocean CD? The History of Atlantic Records?
Marge: Stop naming things!
Homer: I want to, but I can't.
Marge: Then go to Moe's.
Homer: Good idea. I'll drown my sorrows in Anchor Steam Beer. (Looks at Milhouse) Oh ho ho I'm sorry. (Covers his mouth and leaves)
(In "Mr. & Mrs. Simpson" Homer and Marge both shoot Principal Skinner.)
Principal Skinner: (Dying) Remember me... on pizza... Fridays.
Homer: No!
Hmm. You just can't get Russian gangster blood out. Must be something they eat.
</i> Marge
"Trick or Treat" isn't just some phrase you chant mindlessly like The Lord's Prayer. It's an oral contract!
</i> Bart
(In "Mr. & Mrs. Simpson" Chief Wiggum shows up while Marge and Homer are in the midst of trying to kill each other.)
Chief Wiggum: We got a complaint from an anonymous "neighborino" about an elaborately choreographed, high octane, ultra-fight.
(Marge shoots Chief Wiggum through the chest with a crossbow.)
Chief Wiggum: I would have taken a bribe. (Collapses on the floor.)
