Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX

Hey, Nelson! Say something poor!

</i> Man

(to Lisa) Seymour Skinner never puts all his eggs in one basket. That's why they call me "Two Basket Skinner." (pause) What? They do.

Principal Skinner

I like to cry at the ocean, because only there do my tears seem small.

</i> Nelson

I never wanted to be famous for being mean. I wanted to be famous for catching Santa Claus.


Call me old-fashioned, but I usually don't like movies that humiliate our family in front of the world.


(about the Springfield Creative Arts School)The whole school is made up of modeling clay! Every afternoon, they re-shape it just to get my goat!

Superintendent Chalmers

Lisa: No toupees.
Homer: Whaaat, I'm going for the Shia LaBeouf thing. Not quite a nerd, not quite a hunk. Shia LaBeouf!

Jim Jarmusch: I can eat a raw onion without crying.
Homer: Oh yeah? Prove it, Hollywood!
(Jim Jarmusch eats an onion and tears up)
Homer: Hey, you're crying!
Jim Jarmusch: Yes, but I'm crying about something else.

Sorry, Lise. I can't be a vegetarian. I love the taste of death.

Displaying quotes 28 - 36 of 194 in total