Berta: Boy, take one day off for a poker tournament, you miss a whole lot around here.
Charlie: You said you were sick.
Berta: I was healed, it's a miracle!

• Permalink: Boy, take one day off for a poker tournament, you miss a whole l...
• Added: April 28, 2009

Rose: This is a side of Alan Harper I've never seen before -- forceful, confident
Alan: Oh, thank you
Rose: I don't like it

• Permalink: This is a side of Alan Harper I've never seen before -- forceful...
• Added: April 28, 2009

Alan: We need to talk about boundaries
Rose: It was just my pinky, Alan
Alan: No, that was fun

• Permalink: We need to talk about boundaries It was just my pinky, Alan ...
• Added: April 28, 2009

Waiter: ..and for you sir?
Alan: Whiskey, neat
Charlie: Since when did you drink hard liquor?
Alan: Since right now. I'd order crack if it was on the menu
Waiter: True dat

• Permalink: ..and for you sir? Whiskey, neat Since when did you drink ha...
• Added: April 28, 2009

Chelsea [about Rose]: Fun personality right?
Alan: Unfortunately she six more of them

• Permalink: Fun personality right? Unfortunately she six more of them
• Added: April 28, 2009

Alan [getting ready for double date]: How do I look?
Charlie: Don't open that can of worms, you are what you are

• Permalink: How do I look? Don't open that can of worms, you are what you ...
• Added: April 28, 2009