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Two-and-a-half-men

Berta: There are better things I am more interested in than my birthday...
Alan: You would not believe what happened to me today!!!
Berta: I stand corrected.

Alan: My ex-wife tried to seduce me.
Lyndsey: Judith flirted with you?
Alan: Oh God no!!
Lyndsey: The beautiful one?

Walden: I love you Berta.
Berta: You are one sentimental little taco.

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