Two and a Half Men

Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two and a half men
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Alan, there's something you should know about me. When I say "I understand", it doesn't mean I agree, it doesn't mean I understand, it doesn't even mean I'm listening

Charlie

Alan: Charlie, there is a half naked woman in our kitchen.
Charlie: Which half?

Charlie: I thought we agreed we were just friends.
Rose: We are. We're friends who slept together once, and then one friend never called the other friend, but luckily the other friend forgave him.
Charlie: Where are you going?
Rose: To make my friend a grilled cheese sandwhich.
Charlie: Rose, Rose, I don't want a grilled cheese sandwhich.
Rose: Would you prefer a quesadilla?
Charlie: That sounds nice

Alan: Hey, where've you been?
Charlie: I just had lunch with my mother and my stalker

Jake: I got to see penguins and a manta ray. I got to pet a shark, and the coolest thing was the whales. They splashed everybody. You could see right through this one lady's shirt. I think she had plants.
Charlie: Implants.
Jake: Yeah, implants. I asked grandma if she had them and grandpa said, "Aw, I wish." And then she got mad at him and then they bought me ice cream

Displaying all 5 quotes

Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 7 Quotes

Alan: Hey, where've you been?
Charlie: I just had lunch with my mother and my stalker

Jake: I got to see penguins and a manta ray. I got to pet a shark, and the coolest thing was the whales. They splashed everybody. You could see right through this one lady's shirt. I think she had plants.
Charlie: Implants.
Jake: Yeah, implants. I asked grandma if she had them and grandpa said, "Aw, I wish." And then she got mad at him and then they bought me ice cream