Two and a Half Men

Two and a Half Men

Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS

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Two and a Half Men "Not In My Mouth" Quotes

Alan: What exactly did Zoey say?
Walden: It is exactly what she did not say; she did not say I love you.
Alan: Oh please, if I insisted on women saying I love you, I would not have had a girlfriend, a wife or even a mother.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Jake: How old are you?
Jennifer: 24, and you?
Jake: Twenty-four and a half.
 • Rating: Unrated
Jake: I need 75 bucks for the new Call of Duty.
Alan: 75 bucks for a video game?
Jake: Yes, see it as investment.
Alan: An investment?
Jake: Yes, see it this way, if I enter the army after school, I will already know how to kill terrorists.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Walden: I will buy you whatever you need in London.
Alan: If Zoey won't say it, I will. I love you Walden Schmidt.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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Total Quotes: 4
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