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Charlie: What would you do if you want to go pee, but you have $500 in the table?
Jake: Go pee?
Charlie: You pee on yourself. Come on, you have pants that cost $50 and $500 that you could win. Do the math.
Jake: So I have to do the math and pee my pants?
- Permalink: What would you do if you want to go pee, but you have $500 in th...
Alan [about Jake]: He's just going to sleep anyway, and I'll keep an eye on him, so you can go.
Charlie: I don't know. It doesn't feel right just abandoning the kid when he's sick.
Alan: Congratulations, now you know what it feels like to be a parent.
Charlie: Yeah. How inconvenient
- Permalink: He's just going to sleep anyway, and I'll keep an eye on him, so...
Jake: Well, this is gonna be a sucky weekend.
Charlie: Try spending it with an eleven-year-old who does nothing but complain.
Jake: You mean me?
Charlie: Boy, no wonder they got to write your name in your underwear
- Permalink: Well, this is gonna be a sucky weekend. Try spending it with a...
Jake: What am I supposed to do?
Charlie: Watch TV.
Jake: There's nothing on.
Charlie: Play a video game.
Jake: Played them all.
Charlie: Read a book.
Jake: Yeah, right, who's the moron now?
- Permalink: What am I supposed to do? Watch TV. There's nothing on. Pl...
Berta: Oh, damn it.
Berta: The sink's stopped up again. That kid still doesn't know the difference between the garbage disposal and the drain.
Charlie: What do you want? He's eleven.
Berta: That's no excuse. If he can't tell which hole is which at his age, he's headed for big trouble down the line
- Permalink: Oh, damn it. What? The sink's stopped up again. That kid sti...