Two and a Half Men

Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two and a half men
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Confession may be good for the soul, but for marriage, it's a hot, lead enema.

Evelyn

Evelyn: The sooner you two get married, the sooner I'll have more grandchildren.
Charlie: Why, does Miss Evelyn need a cook and a butler, too?

Judith and I had to get married at the Sportsmen's Lodge in November on the first Wednesday before Thanksgiving.

Alan

Evelyn: When I was married to your second step-father...
Charlie: The carpet king?
Evelyn: Well I called him that, but it wasn't his profession

Alan: I really think you need to wake up
Charlie: Shh... Chelsea is sleeping
Alan: Possibly, but not in here

Alan: Out of the two of us who would have figured I'd be the care free bachelor?
Charlie: If by that you mean lonely and single, then everyone

Charlie: Hey can I be the best man?
Alan: You'll need a sex change

Displaying all 7 quotes

Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 7 Quotes

Alan: Out of the two of us who would have figured I'd be the care free bachelor?
Charlie: If by that you mean lonely and single, then everyone

Charlie: Hey can I be the best man?
Alan: You'll need a sex change

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