Confession may be good for the soul, but for marriage, it's a hot, lead enema.

Evelyn

• Permalink: Confession may be good for the soul, but for marriage, it's a ho...
• Added: November 10, 2009

Evelyn: The sooner you two get married, the sooner I'll have more grandchildren.
Charlie: Why, does Miss Evelyn need a cook and a butler, too?

• Permalink: The sooner you two get married, the sooner I'll have more grandc...
• Added: November 10, 2009

Judith and I had to get married at the Sportsmen's Lodge in November on the first Wednesday before Thanksgiving.

Alan

• Permalink: Judith and I had to get married at the Sportsmen's Lodge in Nove...
• Added: November 10, 2009

Evelyn: When I was married to your second step-father...
Charlie: The carpet king?
Evelyn: Well I called him that, but it wasn't his profession

• Permalink: When I was married to your second step-father... The carpet ki...
• Added: November 10, 2009

Alan: I really think you need to wake up
Charlie: Shh... Chelsea is sleeping
Alan: Possibly, but not in here

• Permalink: I really think you need to wake up Shh... Chelsea is sleeping ...
• Added: November 10, 2009

Alan: Out of the two of us who would have figured I'd be the care free bachelor?
Charlie: If by that you mean lonely and single, then everyone

• Permalink: Out of the two of us who would have figured I'd be the care free...
• Added: November 10, 2009

Charlie: Hey can I be the best man?
Alan: You'll need a sex change

• Permalink: Hey can I be the best man? You'll need a sex change
• Added: November 10, 2009