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Rose: Isn't your mental and emotional well-being more important than a couple of fleeting orgasms?
Charlie: It's not even more important than one

Jake: Uncle Charlie, I have to tell you about what happened at school today.
Charlie: You made the honor roll?
Jake: What's that?
Charlie: Forget it

Colleen: All men have performance issues, every now and then.
Charlie: It's not a problem until we give up. Right now, it's just really long foreplay

I just want to get my mother out of my head. I don't want to quit drinking or gambling or none of that good stuff

Charlie [to Rose]

Charlie: Of all the women I know, you're the only one I truly trust, Rose.
Rose: Personally, I find that very flattering, but professionally, I find it very disturbing

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