Thursdays 8:30 PM on CBS
Two-and-a-half-men

Missy: You must be Jake; I am sleeping in your room.
Jake: Well, God Bless America.

That, my friends, is what happens when hillbillies have unprotected sex with hummingbirds.

Berta

Alan: You know how old she is.?
Walden: 18 or 19.
Alan: Well, you might lose a friend but you are not going to jail.

Displaying all 3 quotes