Men dressed as women? No way!

Missy

All the best Amy, I love what you've done with your hair.

Ava

That's right, real gentle wrists guys. Just waft it.

Chris

Kayla's Mom: Overcompensating a little?
Reagan: If by overcompensating you mean being the best parent since Claire Huxtable? Uh yeah!
Kayla's Mom: That's a fictional character.
Reagan: You're a fictional character!

I was just like Jack Nicholson in that movie, You Can't Handle The Truth.

Ava

Reagan: She's not crawling now, so what, in ten years she's not going to graduate from high school!
Chris: Because she'll be ten.

Reagan: I can't drink, I can't exercise, sex has become borderline repulsive. Oh because of me not because of you baby. You look great.
Chris: Thanks, you don't think I'm too brown-
Reagan: OK that's enough.

Chris: She doesn't look very happy.
Reagan: Does this woman not own a hair brush?

It's like hair coming out of hair!

Reagan

Missy can you cut your hair please. We are neither in a little house nor in a prairie.

Ava

Reagan: Honey I am having a baby in two weeks. You must accept this now and stop pretending I just got fat.
Ava: Oh chubby chubby chubby.

Reagan: Stop saying baby in there, like there's a baby hiding in the closet with a knife or something.
Chris: Why are we whispering?

Up All Night Quotes

Who knows, maybe I'll get the old Nordic Track out.

Chris

Reagan: Stop saying baby in there, like there's a baby hiding in the closet with a knife or something.
Chris: Why are we whispering?