Life is so short especially mine.

Chris

Ava: Attention, my co-working family.
Reagan: She doesn't know who Dale is. She doesn't know who anyone is.

Big D you fat bastard! He's never going to get to see iPhone 5!

Chris

Angie: Where do you keep your ghee?
Reagan: Mom you know i don't have ghee. Nobody has ghee.

Angie: We put a lot of time and effort into naming yours.
Reagan: A bobo?
Chris: All my parents talk about is football and Regis, so.

My mother lives in a houseboat with a jazz drummer she makes me call Captain.

Ava

Angie: Shh! Are you drunk?
Reagan: Yes! Are you drunk?
Angie: Yes!

Reagan: Have I got a surprise for you. I'm going to give you a hint. It involves doin' it and our babysitter Patricia.
Chris: Wow...
Reagan: No! No!

I don't want to be objectified in front of the baby.

Chris

Chris: I just got a text from Ava.
Reagan: Oh yeah whats it say?
Chris: Where does Amy usually like to hide?

Damn it feels good to be normal!

Ava

Reagan: Stop saying baby in there, like there's a baby hiding in the closet with a knife or something.
Chris: Why are we whispering?

Up All Night Quotes

Who knows, maybe I'll get the old Nordic Track out.

Chris

Reagan: Stop saying baby in there, like there's a baby hiding in the closet with a knife or something.
Chris: Why are we whispering?