Popular Weeds Quotes
Celia: I was thinking of going bigger.
Nancy: Bigger?
Celia: Really big. Like freak show big. 47 triple Fs. So large that other smaller breasts will want to orbit them.
Shane: I got sent to the school shrink. They'll probably be calling you.
Nancy: Oh, not again, why this time.
Shane: I wrote a gangsta rap about killing Devon Rensler ... with my gatt.
Maggie: Look who's here everyone! It's Celia.
Celia: Down, Maggie. I have cancer. I'm not retarded.
Andy: Hey, pants.
Nancy: Please tell me I didn't hear that you had cyber sex with a 15-year-old deaf girl.
If there's one thing I learned about the Christ crowd, absolutely no sense of humor. Should've gone after the Jew market, at least we can take a joke.
Andy
Know this, Lupita, until you love me, I've got enough love for the both of us.
Andy
I haven't a s**t in three days. I'm like an African famine baby.
Celia
You know, I read somewhere that killing small animals is the first sign of psychotic behavior. You should really tell the parents, they can rush that little sociopath into therapy before he starts tooling around Agrestic in a white van with blacked out windows.
Celia
Celia: I'm sick of men. Maybe I missed my calling. I mean, what if I was supposed to be a dyke, but just made a wrong turn by mistake. It would explain a hell of a lot. Here's the thing, I really wanna f**k around on Dean, but the thought of having to put one more c**k in my mouth is just too depressing.
Nancy: I'm not sure a vagina would be any kind of improvement for you.
Celia: Maybe you're right. The truth is, p***y really skeeves me out. That whole mirror investigation thing we did when we were young, truly a rude awakening.
Celia: Have you ever had sex with a woman?
Nancy: Excuse me?
Celia: I think I'd like to try it.
Celia: You really should lock your front door.
Nancy: I do lock it. But Lupita leaves it open so she doesn't have to dig for her keys. Drives me insane.
Celia: Subtle revenge for having to clean our toilets.
Nancy: I still say we got the better end of that deal.
You've made your bed, now f**k in it.
Nancy Botwin
